Regret

Begin again pt.2

Katara age twenty, 6 years after the war has ended, this chapter takes place right where the last one ended.
Mature Themes Warning

      I froze, a bit scared. Aang wanted to talk? He was the least confrontational person I knew, this couldn't be good. But what could I say now? I guess we should talk, I mean not talking is what led to me and Aang's second biggest fight. I nodded, sitting on the ground, letting my feet dangle in the warm water of the pool. Aang sat down next to me, doing the same. I wasn't sure what to do. If you had told me a day ago, that I would've been talking to Aang, essentially naked in a cave, I would've assumed you had drank some cactus juice.

      Me and Aang had a lot, and I mean a lot of emotional baggage. There were so many things I had always wanted to tell him, but I was scared of things turning out, well, how they've turned out now. Turns out avoiding the truth, is just as dangerous as confronting it. I wasn't sure where to start. I turned to see Aang with his eyes shut. Was he meditating? Did he just want us to contemplate life or something? Maybe I should start all the way back. To the beginning maybe. I took in a breath.

"I never told you, since as soon as the war ended we grew apart, but it was so scary that night in Ba Sing Se. You were dead Aang. I was so scared of loosing you, I don't know what I would've done if I had."
        I felt a tear escape my eye, as I furiously tried to hold any other tears in. Aang finally opened his eyes turning to look at me.

"Toph had told me stories, that you wouldn't leave my side, that you cried that night-"

"Every night Aang. Every night until you woke up, you can't imagine how hard it was for me. I thought you were gone."

" I'm sorry Katara, that must have been difficult."
     Perhaps is the way his voice didn't seem to offer much sincerity, but a new found anger in me was surging up.

"It's hard to loose someone you care about over and over and over again."
      I said somewhat bitterly. He turned to me, starting to looking a bit offended

"Well it's hard to watch the person you love be with someone else, especially when they make it seem like they feel the same way about you" he snapped. I now stood up.

"So what? You were supposed to be my best friend, you left because I was with someone else? If you really cared about me, you would've wanted me to be happy, but you didn't care about how I felt at all." He looked as if he was about to say something, but I wasn't done.

"For so long I've felt guilty, and for what Aang? You chose to run away from me Aang, you avoided me for two years. TWO YEARS. YOU THINK I WANTED TO GO HELP ZUKO SOLVE CONFLICTS IN EARTH KINGDOM? I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU, DOING ANYTHING I COULD TO FIND YOU, AFTER EVERYTHING WE WENT THROUGH YOU WERE IGNORING ME BECAUSE I CHOSE TO STAY WITH ZUKO? MY BOYFRIEND, I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO STAY WITH HIM, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT ME TO BE HAPPY, YOU JUST WANTED ME ALL FOR YOURSELF, AND WHEN YOU COULDN'T HAVE ME, YOU RAN AWAY!"
     I finished screaming tears streaming out of my eyes, my voice raspy from all the yelling. Aang was standing up and he looked ready to respond.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? YOU'RE RIGHT, MAYBE I SHOULD'VE BEEN HAPPY FOR MY TWO FRIENDS, MAYBE RUNNING AWAY WAS CHILDISH, BUT GUESS WHAT KATARA I WAS A CHILD. I WAS TWELVE, AND HEART BROKEN, AND ALONE. DID YOU EXPECT ME TO STAY? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW PAINFUL IT WAS TO SEE YOU TWO TOGETHER, OF COURSE I RAN AWAY, AND OF COURSE I AVOIDED YOU. YOU'RE WITH ZUKO, WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER?"

"OF COURSE IT MATTERS AANG, BECAUSE JUST LIKE BEFORE IN BA SING SE, I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WONDERING WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS. I MEAN DAMMNIT AANG, TWO WHOLE YEARS. WHAT KIND OF FREIND RUNS AWAY, SIMPLY BECAUSE I WAS WITH SOMEONE ELSE, I NEVER BELONGED TO YOU AANG. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU WERE OBSESSED WITH ME, ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH ME!"