When September Ends (Completed)

Chapter Nineteen

August, 2025.

Everything is perfectly fine, everything is great, then one day, it all comes crashing down.

That day, when Ella collapsed, and the school ambulance came, nothing can ever begin to describe the fear I felt. I didn't know what was going on? So many questions running through my mind. What was wrong with her? Was she going to be okay? I was scared, more scared that I had ever been.

Nakaramdam ako ng panghihina when her parents told me about her health condition. At that moment, no amount of heartbreak or physical pain could compare to what I felt upon knowing that my girlfriend is battling with a brain tumor. I didn't know very much about brain tumor. I was torn between wanting to be informed and not wanting to, because I wasn't sure if I could handle the truth.

Habang naghihintay kami sa hospital ay halos manlamig ang mga paa ko sa sobrang kaba. It was the coldness moving up until my throat dried and couldn't speak. Umiiyak kaming lahat that time dahil sa matinding takot para sa buhay ni Ella. Nakita ko ang lungkot at takot sa mga mata ng parents niya and it made me realised that I needed to try and hide my fears because it would only hurt Ella.

I've been trying to cope just day to day and stay positive for her but I feel like I've hit a brick wall. I'm not religious or anything but I have my own spiritual beliefs and just can't reconcile anything I believe with what is happening to Ella. It's so unfair! Minsan naitatanong ko na rin sa nasa Itaas kung bakit kailangan pagdaanan ni Ella ang lahat ng 'to? She truly has never done anything to hurt anybody and doesn't deserve this! Ella doesn't deserve this! We doesn't deserve this!

Most of the time, I feel like I'm stuck in this endless loop of some nightmare and I keep hoping I wake up from this bad dream. But this is the reality. The reality that my girlfriend is suffering with brain tumor at araw-araw kong nakikita ang paghihirap niya. I could remember the way needles pricked into her skin. I remember all the tests she would undergo. I remember the way she would throw up the contents of her stomach, however minimal they were. I remember the way she would try to get up from her bed but was too weak to do so. I won't forget the crushing sensation in my chest everytime na tatawagin niya ako sa'twing hindi niya makayanan 'yung sakit. I remember all the horrible things! Minsan ay pinanghihinaan na rin ako ng loob, pero nananatili akong matatag sa paningin niya. Hindi ako pwedeng maging mahina sa pagsubok na 'to dahil isa ako sa mga nagsisilbing lakas niya.

I'm still glad na nandyan ang family and friends namin to give us support. They told us to be strong and have courage. And I realised it isn't strength or courage that gets us through the days.

It's love.

..

General signs and symptoms caused by brain tumors may include:

New onset or change in pattern of headaches

Headaches that gradually become more frequent and more severe

Unexplained nausea or vomiting

Vision problems, such as blurred vision, double vision or loss of peripheral vision

Gradual loss of sensation or movement in an arm or a leg

Difficulty with balance

Speech difficulties

Confusion in everyday matters

Personality or behavior changes

Seizures, especially in someone who doesn't have a history of seizures