When he got back to his loft, he tore up everything he could move. His couch, his bed. He threw the table against a wall. When everything was broken, he slumped against a wall. Thinking back to the disaster they called today. Erica and Boyd gone. Scott's betrayal, Jackson's death/not dead, Peter coming back from the dad. Seriously, could nobody stay the fuck dead? Gerard's bite.
But what really got to him, Stiles. Always Stiles. He always got to him. He always got into the danger headfirst. Not thinking of himself. He was just human. He could get hurt and wouldn't get back up as fast as the wolves. He was fragile. But so brave, loyal, smart, annoying, so Stiles. He looked so hurt when Derek told him that he wasn't pack and never will be pack.
When Stiles told him that he was emotionally constipated and he didn't want him as an Alpha, it hurt. He just wanted Stiles safe, but now he lost the boy. He didn't know if he could fix this. A voice in his head told him he didn't deserve it to be fixed. He knew that Stiles was his mate, that he only could get happiness when he was with him. But Stiles deserved something more. Someone who was whole and not Derek.
Derek knew he needed to get his shit together. And he needed to distance himself from Stiles. Stiles deserved to be happy. And that wouldn't happen with Derek. His wolf howled at the thought of letting Stiles go. But he needed to focus on other things. Focus on finding Erica and Boyd. They were let go from the Argents basement but still hadn't shown up. He had expected them already, so he was confused.
He will go looking for them in the morning. But first, he needed to shower and sleep. Tomorrow he could focus on finding Erica and Boyd and get them back into the pack. He also needed to start training Jackson, Lydia will be in the know, and they needed to find out what she was because a human was obviously out of the question.
He needed to talk to Peter, what would be like pulling teeth. And he needs to deal with Isaac and Scott. Again, pulling teeth.
He put his thoughts about Stiles away. Locked them up back in his mind. He couldn't break and go running back to Stiles and beg him to be pack and be his mate. He needed to keep him safe. Even if it broke him even more.
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Mage, Alpha, Mermaid
FanfictionStiles has been beaten, tortured, and almost raped before he got out of Gerard's clutches. He doesn't stop to nurture and heal. He just wants to help his friends, his pack. When his help is not appreciated, and he is thrown out of the pack, he's los...
