Everything We Wanted

-18- ✅

Flashback 5 years ago

(Billie's POV)
Okay c'mon Billie you can do this. Just ask her out. Simple as that.

We were sitting on Aleah's sofa watching something that I was paying zero attention to. All I could think about was the beautiful girl laying on my lap. Even though we'd only been friends for a couple of months, I couldn't stop thinking about her whenever I was alone.

"Hey, um Leah?"

"Yeah?" She turned her head to look at me, but when I saw those beautiful brown eyes staring back I couldn't bring myself to ask her out.

"Damn. Your eyes are nice." I blurted, my face immediately heating up. "Sorry that's.. ugh that's not what I wanted to say." I dragged my hand down my face out of frustration.

Why was it so hard to do this?

She giggled the cutest little giggle I ever heard and told me thank you.

"But what did you wanna tell me Bil?"

"Oh Um, it was nothin shorty, forget about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah yeah, it wasn't important."

And although she didn't believe me, she didn't press on the issue.

1 month later

Alright you know what fuck this. I can't take this. I've tried to ignore the way I feel about Aleah but I just can't.

I decided this was the perfect time to do it. We were at our spot hanging out. The sunset hitting her tan skin perfectly. She looked like a goddess

"Hey, Leah I need to talk to you, like seriously talk to you."

"Oh alright what's up?" She turned to me, giving me her full attention.

"I've tried to ignore this for as long as possible but I just can't. Leah I...I think I like you, like...more than a friend. I was scared to tell you cause I didn't wanna ruin what we have. I know we've only known each other a couple of months but you make me feel things I never thought I could feel. Leah you make me so genuinely happy, something I'd never thought I'd get. You make me want to live again. And I understand if you don't feel the same way I just really needed you to know and-"

"Billie?" She cut me off.

"Yeah?"

"Please shut the hell up." She grabbed my face, crashing her lips into mine.

I smiled into the kiss, pulling her into my lap. We moved in sync, like our lips were made for each other.

"Fuck you don't know how long I've wanted to do that." I told her once we pulled back.

"I have a pretty vague idea." She stated with a giggle.

I laughed and pulled her back in, loving the feeling of her lips on mine. Of course I pulled back before things got too intense.

"C'mon, I should get you home before your mom murders me." We got up and packed all our stuff, starting our walk home hand in hand. I relished in the feeling of her hand interlaced with my own. Her skin soft and warm.

-

When we got to her doorstep I turned her around for a final kiss, laying my forehead on hers.

"I'll see you tomorrow yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah, tomorrow."

"Perfect." I gave her forehead a kiss before walking back to my house. About 20 minutes away.

I came home with a smile on my face, walking up to my red lit room and flopping down on my bed.
End of flashback
-

As I stare down at the beautiful woman snuggled up to my side, I couldn't picture my life any other way. I wholeheartedly believed that Aleah was my soulmate, when we met we sort of instantly clicked and had this immediate connection.

She pulled me out of such a dark place in my life that I don't think I would've gotten out of without her by my side.

I still couldn't believe that a month from now, I get to call this girl my wife, and I get to be with her forever. I admired her as she slept. No matter what state she was in, she always looked beautiful.

The tender moment was abruptly ruined when Leah jolted up out of her sleep with a shout. Immediately I went to her side to comfort her.

"Hey hey, you're okay, you're alright. It was just a dream baby. Look at me."

She struggled to lift her head from her hands. Mumbling and crying things I couldn't understand. So all I did was hold her tightly and securely. Kissing her head and rubbing her back while whispering soft and sweet things to her.

Pressure therapy.

Something I learned when I was actually in therapy. It's a mechanism that can help with panic and anxiety attacks.

I looked down for a second to catch her small hand clutching the ends of my shirt, for dear life it seemed like. The sight broke my heart into a million pieces to see her in this much pain.

"Shhh, you're alright mama. I'm right here, try and take deep breaths for me."

Her breathing, while it was shaky, she tried her best to take slow and deep breaths.

"There you go, good girl. You're okay, I got you." I stroked her hair, laying my cheek on the top of her head.

I saw her grip loosen slightly on my shirt. Small sniffles coming from her.

"Are you alright angel? Do you think you can talk?" She shook her head clinging to me when I tried to pull away.

"Just hold me, please." She whispered quietly,
So feeble I almost didn't hear her.

"Alright love, I got you, I'm not going anywhere I'm right here." I layed back down with her head on my chest. Holding her shoulders securely.

"Baby you know I hate seeing you like this. Promise you'll consider checking out a therapist?" I pulled her face up so she could look at me. "Promise me, I can't stand to see you in this much pain."

With sad eyes, she nodded her head and stuck out her pinky, not wanting to speak.

I linked my pinky with hers,
"Thank you baby." I kissed her forehead, cuddling her back into my chest.

I hummed a soft tune, hoping to lull her back to sleep. Eventually I did and her breathing slowed down slightly. I sighed sadly.

I just wanted these nightmares of hers to stop. I know it's starting to affect her mental health and that worries me.

The only thing I can do for her right now is just be there for her. Which is exactly what I plan to do.

♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎

A/N: I know this book is probably boring asf right now and I'm so sorry I promise it will pick up.

Love y'all!
Stay hydrated, stay beautiful, stay safe and wear your masks

-Hayden❤️