Serendipity (Poe Dameron Fanfic)

08. See You Around

I woke up earlier than usual. I got out of bed and threw on some clothes. I didn't want to start the day but there were things to do. Many, many things to do. Most of it was a lot of grunt work. It would distract me from Poe leaving but I knew that I would continue to think about it until he got back. It seemed like from the conversation we had last night that he might return the feelings that I had for him. It brought a little bit of happiness to me that he might return to me but there was the feeling that I wasn't allowed to enter into a relationship. It was probably because I was trained as a Jedi for several years of my life and it was embedded in my brain that attachment wasn't allowed. But the Jedi weren't around anymore so it didn't matter.

But I still felt guilty that I wanted something with Poe. I wanted a relationship but it wasn't a part of who I grew up to be. I was raised to be a Jedi with very Jedi ideals. Many of the very core beliefs were still with me in my adult years. I couldn't imagine who I would be if I hadn't been sent to Luke Skywalker. He had taught me so many things that I still held close to my heart. But with leaving Luke, growing as a young adult, and my beliefs changing, I was seriously changing my views on entering a relationship. Especially one with Poe. 

I arrived at the mess hall, arms crossed across my chest. I spotted Poe, Tallie, Stomeroni, and a few others I recognized sitting at a table. Poe waved at me as I got my food. I smiled, waving back. Within a few minutes, I was sitting between Poe and Tallie, laughing with the rest of them. I felt Poe's eyes looking at me a couple of times and even felt his hand brush against my thigh. I didn't brush it away or say anything. I didn't mind.

The tones and vibes of everyone turned sad and subdued by the end of the meal. We all knew that Poe was leaving on a high-risk mission. There was the risk that Poe wouldn't return. I hoped he would come back. I enjoyed Poe's company.

I got up before anyone else and went throw my stuff away. A second later, Poe was standing by my side. His hand brushed against my lower arm, an imploring look on his face.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

Poe shook his head. "Not particularly. I just don't want to leave you without saying goodbye."

"Well, goodbye," I replied. "I'll miss you very slightly."

Poe shoved my shoulder. "You'll miss me so much."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Just promise you won't get hurt?"

Poe held out his hand. "I promise."

I smiled, taking his hand. We shook each other's hands, stupid wide grins on our faces. A half an hour later, almost everyone on base was in the bays. They were all watching Poe. He was making the rounds, saying goodbye to pretty much everyone. I stood near his infamous x-wing, arms crossed as I leaned against a stack of crates. I watched him, a sad and anxious feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. Something was going to happen to him and I didn't enjoy that feeling one bit.

Poe stopped right in front of me, a small bag falling to his feet. He was dressed casually and looked quite handsome. His hair was in its usual messy appearance but fit his look.

He smiled at me. "I'll see you around, okay, Naaraa?"

I nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah, of course. Just don't die on me, okay?"

Poe winked. "Not for you, I won't."

I shook my head, rolling my eyes. "Get out of here, idiot. You have a mission to complete."

"Yes, ma'am."

Poe turned, climbing into the cockpit of his ship with his bag slung over his shoulder. He was distracted for a few minutes before looking down at me. He winked again, a stupid grin spreading across his face. I shook my head, smiling widely as I waved one last time. He took off a moment later, everyone cheering him goodbye. I silently watched him, a sad smile on my face. I didn't want him to go but he needed to. It was his duty to the Resistance. He had no duty to me.