Money
Need it to survive this epidemic sanely.
I don't need it.
But I might die for it.
Life's harsh.
They told me always went for the large.
Be strong,
Be pretty,
Live long,
Don't be a fatty.
I'm unfortunate,
I hate my fate.
But it's too late,
I've been born, in this world full of hate.
You know how money is everything,
I'm not saying I'm crazy for a diamond ring,
But I used to live in poverty.
making me value the purpose of money.
You know I'm born ugly,
I hate my face,typically everything about me.
You know I'm the worst.
the gossips isn't the first.
I knew they hate my looks,
All I could do was only shook.
Hated my hair,
Hated how my skin is not fair,
I hated my nose,
the one I used to smell the pleasant rose.
Hated my eyes,
the one that can detect lies.
Hated my teeth,
Look like nothing more than filth.
I hope you know,
that it wasn't easy,
How it feels like to keep your head down low,
cause you know your looks are apathy.
Tried to change a bit,
So I tried to like a few things about myself although it's too misfit.
One thing after another,
You know I thought you would say you were prouder.
But nah,
you say I look ugly-lah.
I don't know if I hated myself enough,
to be told those shit like I've never even had it rough.
It feels shittier.
Especially when it comes from the one you have seen from your first living year.
Hoping that they would encourage you,
but instead it was a foolish move to think like that too.
In school,
My height was a joke and often used as a fool
But in house,
It feels like everything they said was just false.
You know.
If I was on ice, It would be describe as doing the hardest salchow.
I finally made a move,
the one that i wished for,
but only to met with your disapprove.
and with your words that are extempore.
Sometimes I do found it weird,
We are so different.
The things that I feared,
Is the things that I learnt.
Which was how I'm losing my conscious,
In this room that is too spacious.
Making me feel lonely,
Not enough to be lovely.
10 October
