Choni. Till the end of my days.

the river's edge

Cheryl's POV

I opened my eyes but  no red lights were blinding me. I was in Toni's room but she was not around. I could hardly remember what happened yesterday. Movie, crying, a tight hug. That was all I could remember. Oh my god why did I let that happen? How am I supposed to look at  Toni? I had a lot of questions and no answers. I liked Toni. She was nice to me for no reason which was really strange for me. I wanted to pay her back ,but how? I knew very little about her. Now laying in her bed I had a bigger problem. How to react? I was grateful so being a bitch is not the way but I couldn't be nice either. I quickly got out of her bed and entered my room. I was mentally exhausted so I didn't go for my morning jog. In fact I felt sick so I thought it would be better to spend this day in my bed. I was deeply in thoughts when Toni knocked the door and got into my room. We had an eye contact and it was silent for a while. Then she came closer to my bed and started talking.

"Cher, I know you wanna start a drama about you sleeping in my bed but let's get over it. You felt really bad last night and I didn't want to leave you alone. How are you feeling?"

"A bit under the weather Id like to stay in bed for now. And I can't really remember stuff about yesterday so agreed. No need to talk about it."

"Perfect. I'll be back soon. By the way your nana's nurse came."

"Oh okay thanks. See ya later." I felt a bit hungry but I was still too weak to get something to eat. I did my everyday twitter, instagram, snapchat and tiktok scrolls. I was bored so I opened youtube. I usually don't watch it but I had nothing to do anyways. Today's weather was really cold and chilly. That's uncommon for summer Riverdale. At some point it even started raining. The atmosphere was so perfect. Me under a warm, soft blanket, some stupid youtube videos and sounds of rain. I was watching James Charles's new video when Toni stepped into my room with a silver tray. The smell of hot chicken soup filled the room. When she was close enough to my nightstand I saw everything on the tray. A burger with some fries, a chicken soup from Pop's and a few pieces of bread. She also had a silver spoon in her hand. 

"Hey Cher, you feeling better? Here, take your soup." She put the tray on my nightstand and took the burger.

"Yeah, I'm feeling better. Thank you. How was the day? I can see that you were in Pop's"

"Look at my serpent jacket! I'm a southside serpent now!"

"Lucky you my mother is not home. You are also lucky that I can't make you move out. Oh my god who could think that a gang member will be sleeping next door!" I teased Toni.

"Life is unpredictable. After getting my jacket me, Jughead, Sweet Pea and Fangs wanted to go to Whyte Wyrm but Betty called and she wanted to meet Jug so we ended up at Pop's. TBH Betty was asking about you and that's when I ordered take out for us. What have you been doing?" Toni told while taking a bite of her burger.

"Oh my sweet cousin Betty. I'll starve to death without her." I giggled. "Nothing much. Just watching some stupid stuff on youtube." I started eating my chicken soup and no one talked for a minute because we were busy chewing our food. "By the way, Toni why are you and your dad alone? Your mom stayed in your hometown?"

"Uh.. not really. My mom died in a motorcycle accident when I was 10. That's why me and my dad moved away from gang life to Rochester." She teared up but tried to keep her feelings to herself. I had no idea how to comfort people but I knew I should try.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." I was not sure whether I should hold her hand.

"It's fine, I'm fine." She gave me a light smile. "I have a question for you as well. What was Jason like? I wanna know what kind of a person he was?" She was not confident while asking it. I had a very weird feeling about it. I knew I was going to cry as soon as I started talking about JJ but Toni saw me in a horrible condition yesterday. Also there was one more thing bothering me. Why would she ask that. Does she care about me? This was the most exciting question and the only way I could find my answers was telling her everything.

"He was amazing. The best brother ever. We were twins but he was 3 minutes older than me. JJ was a golden boy. Perfect in everything." I felt a throat lump. It felt like someone was trying to choke me. Luckily I could pull myself together and continue. "He was a straight A student, he was amazing at football and water polo, greatest son to have. JJ deserved the world but we were the family he was born in. This family could never give him everything he deserved. He was so caring, especially for me. My parents have been abusive since I was a baby. Jason was the favorite one and it was obvious. Even JJ noticed it and I think he tried his best to give me the feeling of being loved. In fact I think he was the only one who loved me. But now I'm alone." I burst into tears. I just couldn't hold it back anymore. Toni  squeezed my hand and said."

"Cheryl I know my next question can be hard to answer but I'd like to know how did your father kill him and get away with it?"

"JJ tried to escape with his pregnant girlfriend, Polly Cooper. He asked me to help him fake his death and of course I couldn't resist. I thought he will be safer away from our family. I helped him cross Sweetwater river and never saw him again. He was supposed to call or email me when he's safe but that never happened. My father caught him and killed him. I found his body in the river a few months after with a bullet in his forehead. It's been a year but I still can't go near the river..." I whimpered. "In this town fathers kill their son's and do not feel guilty for it. My father hung himself only after he got caught. I think he would still be alive if Betty and Jughead kept this case unsolved."

"Oh my god, Cheryl. I am so sorry. Do you think we can go for a ride right now? I'd like to see that river."

"Do you really think I can handle this?"

"I'll be with you. Also we can drive away as soon as you feel like it." There was a friendly smile on Toni's face and that made me feel safe. "Get dressed, I'm ready. I'll be waiting for you downstairs." Toni announced and got out of the room. I had mixed feelings about going to the Sweetwater river. I was terrified of that thought but there was something that made me happy about it. I was happy that I was going to overcome my biggest fear but to be honest it was not just that. I think I was happy because Toni will be there with me. I was getting dressed and at the same time I was questioning myself why am I so happy about her coming with me. There was something different about her. I wanted to spend all my free time with her. She was very interesting, supportive and understanding but not only that. I wanted to be closer and closer. I guess I really liked her and not as a person or friend. In more of a romantic way. That evening I could admit that she was really beautiful and hot. When I first saw her I thought she's the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. I was happy I could admit that to myself but what's going to be next? She takes me as a friend and I'm not even doubting it. I have too much traumas for someone to love me. Am I being friendzoned? Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, the queen of chaos, HBIC of the town herself can be friendzoned? How was I supposed to act innocent. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. She was the first person in the whole entire world who cared for me and I didn't want to lose it. I knew her for 4 days but she was already an important person. Anyways I was ready so we got in the car.

"No, Cher I'm riding today. You will help me to find the place." We were blasting some cool music and talking about random stuff. It was pretty late but I wasn't sleepy. Toni parked the car and we walked to the river. It was so peaceful and quiet. Wind was moving the leaves and cicadas were making their common noise. The moon was perfectly visible even on the surface of the water. was close enough to see my reflection.

"So? Where was it?" Toni whispered.

"Right here." I sobbed but still tried to stay strong and do not show Toni my feelings. 

"You don't have to keep it, Cheryl. That's the only way you can let it go. Stop trying to keep your feelings, I will always know how are you feeling." Toni explained and hugged me. I cried on her shoulder for so long. She was holding me in her arms all the time. I felt so safe.. I was home. Her arms are the only ones I would constantly like to be in. We spent around 30 minutes near the river but it was chilly so we drove away.