Split Personality

Chapter Twenty Five

Steve's POV

I followed T'Challa to Shuri's lab which, from the room I was in, was pretty far. The rest of the team was following behind me, I could tell they were scared since they didn't want to get close to me. I wasn't as scared as I should have been since I was willing to do this, I didn't want to hurt my team this way and I didn't want them to worry about me. My heart was telling me to survive but my body can't survive the pain any longer neither can my mind.

When we finally reached the lab Shuri was already working on something at her desk. T'Challa walked over to talk with his sister, leaving us to talk for a bit. No one really knows my decision but I think they have guessed which one I have already picked. "Do you mind telling us what exactly you picked?" Tony sounded a little scared, his voice was shaking. I sat down on the couch since I was a little tired, "I umm.." Shuri cleared her throat, grabbing our attention, "I think you might want to not ask him that question until we start the procedure." She didn't sound too happy even talking about this, she just sounded scared and nervous. Everyone just slumped into the seat that was closest to them, "Understood..." A few of them said at once.

She gave me a folder with a few papers in it, "Go into the other room and pick one. When you have decided, we will get started." I nodded my head and made my way down to another section of the lab, far away from the team. Opening the folder I saw many different ways of doing two of the three options given to me earlier that week. On the top of every paper said which option it was, "Cryo" and "Death". I was shocked to find more of the cryo one than the other, but I just think she did that on purpose.

I picked out all of the cryo ones and placed it to my side so I could focus on the...death ones.... I didn't want to do this to the team but I didn't want to have them just waste resources on something they can't fix. It is better for them and for me. 'Gun shot' that was a no. 'Suffocation' that is a bigger no. "Drowning' that would just be more painful for the others to watch than for me to even do. 'Hanging' what is this woman thinking, NO! I looked through all of them for about five minutes before I finally picked one that would be painless and sort of quick, 'Poison'. It was painless so I wouldn't struggle making the situation worse for everyone and it could be done at any time.

When I walked out I noticed that Tony, James, Natasha and Sam were all pacing around the room. Rhodey, Clint, T'Challa and Shuri were all standing around the desk, looking at something and muttering to one another. I slowly placed the folder down on the table next to Shuri. She looked up at me, "Figured out what you want to do?" Everyone whipped their heads to face me. I slowly nodded my head, "Yes. I did. I like how you had more of one option than another. It is like you tried to sway my option." She gave off a pity laugh and tried her best not to make eye contact with me and picked up the folder. Her eyes widened when she looked at what I picked, she wanted to say something but instead just walked away.

Everyone took one step closer to me, "So can you tell us what you picked now?" Tony asked, trying to get an answer out of me. I just looked at him trying my best not to start crying, I wanted to tell everyone but I don't even think I'll be able to get the words out of my mouth. Before I even had a chance T'Challa knocked something over causing everyone to turn their attention over to him. He dropped a metal tray that was laying on the table next to him, "Now that I have everyone's attention, I wanted to inform you that Shuri asked everyone NOT to ask him what he picked, as to not pressure him. We don't want him upset as we begin so please stop asking." I could tell he was getting a little annoyed with everyone since his tone was harsh and commanding.

Tony was the first person to walk back to his seat. I sat down further away from the rest so I could try and relax. I know this is for the best but seeing everyone like this, upset and helpless, I can't stand it. I want them to know that there was no other way to help me and this was the best option for me, if I knew that they could keep me alive and help me at the same time I would take it but this is far different from what they had to do for Bucky. Shuri walked back to her table and placed down the box she was holding. I couldn't see inside but I was guessing it was an arrangement of poison that she will pick from.

T'Challa stood next to his sister's side as they whispered to each other, I tried my best to hear what they were saying but all I could make out was "Make sure he is calm." which was a bit concerning but I didn't care. He walked over to me and crouched down, "You alright Captain?" I slowly nodded my head, I was calm enough but I wasn't going to completely calm which I hope is ok. He placed his hand on my leg, "We will get started in about five minutes if that is alright?" I smiled at him, well half smiled, "Yea, that is fine. As long as you are ready to do it." Standing up he rubbed my shoulder and walked back to his sister who was in a room with a big window so we could see in. I am guessing that is where I'll be going here soon since there is an exam table and chair in the middle of the room.

A pit in my stomach formed as I watched both of them move around needles, the heart monitor, the exam table and a few other things that I couldn't see too well. After they were all done with whatever they were doing both of them walked out and faced the team. I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying, only the facial expressions from my friends. Suddenly tears started to stream down my face as the colour in theirs disappeared. None of them moved, they were all frozen in shock. I stood up and started to make my way closer to them. Tony, as usual, was the first person to get up and hug me. He started to cry as everyone else joined in, no one said anything, no one even moved until I started to fall to the ground. My legs gave out, I was in so much pain seeing them all like this I couldn't even bring myself to stand, thankfully they all joined me again.

They didn't hug me again since they probably thought I was hurt, which I was, emotionally. Seeing them all showing true sadness was like a knife to the heart or a bullet to the brain...I couldn't take it anymore. This time I was the one who hugged them, time froze as all of us started to break. No one wanted me to leave but I knew I couldn't stay. Shuri cleared her throat making time move again, "I think it is better we start this now." I pulled away and nodded at her. My voice was gone, nothing was coming out, it was like it was closed as to not make my friends even more upset.

Before I could make it to the door I felt four arms wrap around me, "Don't ever forget us." I managed to turn around to see both Tony and Bucky hugging me, "Do you understand?" Tony sounded like he was about to scream. "I can't forget any of you. Even if Hydra managed to get rid of me there will always be that section in my head who knows that you guys are my family. Even when I am gone I'll be here with you. Remember that please." Everyone started to cry harder. I gave everyone one last hug before I went into the exam room.

T'Challa was inside the room waiting for me to lay down. He picked up a few needles and a bottle of some sort of yellowish liquid. "Are you ready Captain?" I got myself situated on the bed, "I'm ready." I looked around at my friends, they all had tears in their eyes and a few of them were digging their nails into their arms in fear. Shuri then joined us in the room, she had her tablet in one of her hands and a tissue in the other. "Are you sure you are ready Steve?" I could tell that she wanted me to pick another option than poison.

I slowly nodded, not wanting to say another word. She slowly placed her tablet down on the exam table and picked up a needle that had a tube attached to it. "So this is designed to inject multiple poisons all at once so we don't have to keep going back and forth." She moved my arm so my palm is facing up and put the syringes inside my forearm. T'Challa handed her three needles full of the poison. There were little holes on the tube where she placed them. It didn't leave the syringes which I thought was interesting. "When I turn this lever," She pointed at it, "The poison will enter your body once I turn the ones under the syringes. So whenever you are ready I will turn them."

I gave her a little thumbs up as I laid down making sure I was staring at the ceiling and not not friends so I wont hurt them more, I would rather not have them watch the life be taken out of my eyes. She slowly opened the three levers under the syringes and when the liquid reached the last lever she looked at me one more time. I didn't do or say anything I just wanted this to be over. I heard her sniffle as she opened the last lever.

I could feel the poison flow into my arm like it was fire. I tensed up a bit as my body rejected it. I was a bit nervous since the Super Soldier Serum will probably kill it before it could kill me. "It is strong enough to kill the serum so you don't have to worry Captain." I was a bit shocked since I didn't even say a word, it was like she could read my mind. The nerves in my arm were all dead and it was slowly moving towards my heart. The vision was slowly going black and fuzzy. I couldn't hear anything anymore as darkness engulfed my vision, my mind went completely blank and my heart stopped making music...