(Don't) Panic

VIII - Slaughter Bay

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*trigger warning:

+ suffocation + helplessness + humiliation + vulnerability + excrement + dehumanisation +

*the full warning and list of triggers to be found in part 2

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At first she didn't notice it when people were taken but it was nearly impossible not to notice the increasing shrieks of the crowd when, once again, people were being taken by an invisible force and placed into the hole through which they had entered the sphere. And again those that were conscious were struggling until after a few seconds inside the hole they would fall quiet. She was sure that the same stunning mechanism was applied here too.

She knew that it was useless to struggle but she did nevertheless. She was held in place for the stunning to be done and as at the first time, she couldn't move or feel her body afterwards but she was still conscious. Her mind was less crowded this time, the pain from her stomach was piercing through the dullness that clouded her senses. She clearly registered being attached to the chain again and being dragged forward little by little. She wondered what was going to happen to her this time. What hadn't been done to her yet to strip away her dignity and her human rights.

Another egg of the kind that she had nearly suffocated inside before approached – or wasn't it her that was being approached to it by the chain? It didn't matter which way around it was for a moment later she was enclosed by it. If she had had any control about her bodily functions she would have held her breath in anticipation of the feeling of being drowned once again. As was the case she could only panic inside her head, there was nothing she could do about her situation and she couldn't even let her panic out in any way. The thoughts just careened round and round her head, chasing one-another like a dog chasing its tail, not making any sense for the situation didn't make any sense, not making any difference to the situation for she couldn't do anything, not helping in any way for there was no help coming, not giving her any hope of getting out of the situation alive and well for she definitely was not well. She was being suffocated once again, this time not by steam but something like water but it wasn't water, it stung on her tongue and in her eyes, tears were leaking out of her eyes in a bodily reaction to the water-like liquid that irritated her mucous membranes. The pressure was rising until it was nearly bone-crushing and then, just a moment before she felt it must surely kill her by crushing her skull the pressure fell and she was once more being dragged along, away from the egg.

She felt exhausted. Exhausted to a point she had never thought she could ever reach. She had been exhausted before but this was like nothing she had ever experienced. She had thought that during and after the last exam period she had been drained but compared to what she felt now it seemed like nothing. The memories of anything before she had woken up in the first sphere, floating around in nothingness accompanied by thousands of people and no one to help, felt like a dream by now. She couldn't quite wrap her head around it anymore. Had she really been a university student? Or was that something her imagination had cooked up to make her existence a bit more bearable? Had she really neglected to spend time with her friends and family to cram just a little more knowledge into her head? Or were the memories of her family feverish dreams too?

She had been so lost in the vicious cycle of her thoughts that she was completely taken by surprise when she felt her eyes forced shut, her jaws pushed upwards to close her mouth and her nostrils sealed shut with some kind of sponge that prevented her from breathing. She couldn't see, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't struggle to be let go and she couldn't scream. She was sure that she was to die now, held aloft by chains and shackles, being pushed around like an object and even denied a painless death.

Yet again she was doused in some liquid. It burned her skin and she felt as if it was acid eating away at her skin and at the same time like petrol set on fire. She longed to scream but was now grateful that her mouth had been closed and even for the sponges in her nose that prevented her from breathing in the burning liquid. However much she needed air and however much it caused agony in her lungs, she needed to not have the substance inside of her more.

It was a relief when she felt her senses leave her.