(Don't) Panic

XVI - The Breeding I

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*trigger warning:

+ dehumanisation + fear +

*the full warning and list of triggers to be found in part 2

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"I don't think they understand that we aren't objects, that we are sentient beings that can feel physical pain as well as mental pain." George replied with a tormented expression. They had been getting to know each other and talking for the last hours, divided only by the bars separating the individual pens.

"Or they just don't care." Owen said bitterly. "They know that they can hurt us. That should tell them that we can feel, shouldn't it?"

"It should, I agree with you. But I doubt they will care if you rip out your new earring, they'll just put in a new one. And what good will it do to you?" He tried to calm the younger man. He himself had been through a lot of emotional turmoil but the rollercoaster that Owen had been through during their conversation had been painful to watch. The man had related anecdotes about his life at home, little stories about his girlfriend and about the children he cared for, that he considered "his" children. One moment a particularly hilarious recount could humour him to the point where he made George laugh out loud together with him only to burst into tears a minute later when he remembered that he had taken those children to the concert as a treat. That he had led them to their own doom, was the reason for them to be ripped from their environment.

"It'll make them work" Owen muttered darkly.

"It'll make them hurt you again." George countered.

As there weren't any mirrors left about, they had examined each others wounds. By touch, Owen had gathered that the things had not merely punched through his ear and nose or the fun of it, they had done so because they wanted to attach something to his body. Not to him, because he as an individual clearly didn't matter, but to his body because that was all the things acknowledged about him and the other men. Their bodies.

"Stop worrying it all the time then. It'll only get infected." Seeing Owen slump down in on himself, he reached his arms through the bars. "Come here. We'll get through this, ok? We've got something to eat and drink and it's not as cold as it was before anymore. Come here and try to sleep some more, ok?"

Owen hesitated for just one moment, then he flung himself towards the welcoming touch. He felt bad for being so miserable, knowing that the other man had had to endure the same that he had. Due to the bars separating them he could not really embrace George but he lay down as close to the bars as possible and the feeling of the big hands on his skin calmed him down. The compassion shown to him managed to dry the tears and calm the hurried breath.

It felt good not to be alone.

...

He only noticed that he had fallen asleep when he woke up. The pen to his right that had been empty before, now housed a man. The reason for the yelling became immediately clear to Owen. He was being held fast by two of the things, in a pose that was all too familiar to Owen. He could see the tag in his ear and the ring in his nose and thus knew what the thing behind the man would be doing right now. Goosebumps spread over him like waves of uneasiness. He didn't need to watch. Turning to Georges pen, he saw the man sitting Indian style and gripping the bars.

"He was in a small cell with me and some other men. We were six in total." He recounted with a hoarse voice. "He took offence that two of them were a couple and comforting each other." He swallowed, then continued on. "When we made it clear that we disagreed with him he became silent but if looks could kill, we would all have been tortured to death. One of the men in the room had ben unconscious when we were put in there. I think he must have died from heart failure or dehydration or something like that. At one point that madman over there started to bite his corpse. Don't... " The memory strained him and it was obvious to Owen that it was difficult but also important for Gregor to continue on. "... don't get close to him.  Not even his side of your pen. Maybe he has always been strong, maybe his madness has given him more strength, but it was damn near impossible for me to overpower him on my own." He swallowed again. "Promise me you'll stay away from him?"

Owen nodded. He did not need telling twice.

Seeing George so agitated disturbed Owen. Within the hours they had spoken with each other, he had always been balanced and levelled. Not now though. As George had done before, Owen now reached out through the bars, trying to mimic the appeasing movements that had calmed him down so effectively. It seemed to work since the other man let go of the bars and reached for Owen on his part. The hug was awkward as they were hindered by the bars but it seemed to be what the other had needed.