My Hana

3🌺

28 days left to live. Today's weather was groggy and wet. Rain fell from the ever so darkened skies, falling onto the ever so cold concrete floor. Drip. Drip. Drip. I can't avoid them forever, right. I sighed, laughing nonchalantly. If only I could ignore you...maybe I wouldn't have loved you. 

I make my way downstairs, not waking up my family. 5:00 am. I get myself ready, packing my things and such. I then hop on my bike, making my way to school. I bike in the rain, letting it gracefully drop against my skin. The cool feeling and touch of the rain saddens me because now I'm not crying alone. I'm crying; the skies crying. 

I hop off my bike, slinging it across the ground, before locking it up. I stand in the rain for a little bit, letting it soak deep within. The cool touch of the rain felt ever so soothing...again, petals, again. I began to cough up petals mixed with blood. Laughing hysterically outside, alone, in the dark, at 6:00 am. 

I walked into the clubroom, drenched with rainwater. 

"H-hinata? Are you okay?" 

Suga ran over, bringing me a towel to wipe myself dry. 

"Yeah, I just got caught up in the rain when I was biking here." 

Suga sighed, telling Hinata to get changed so he doesn't get a cold. 

Hinata nodded, changing into his gym attire for today's morning practice.

Soon, everyone else began to roll into the gym, where they began to practice. Halfway through, Hinata began coughing petals. 

"Hinata?!"

He reached his hand to the side to stop Suga. 

"It's alright, I just have a bad cough. Maybe I caught a cold." 

Suga nodded, sending Hinata to the nurse's office. 

"What brings you here today?" 

Suga had already left, heading back to the gym. 

"It's nothing, I'm fine, really. My teammates are just worried I caught a cold." 

The nurse gave me a look, eyeing me. 

"Alright, do you want to lay down for a bit?" 

I nodded, laying down on the bed, not wanting to see Kageyama and Tsukishima today. 

I ended up staying at the infirmary for a little while, before going back to class. 

"Oi boke!" 

"Ah...Hi, Kags..." 

"Where were you?" 

"Just resting in the nurse's office." 

"Dumbass! Did you get sick?" 

I chuckled, nodding my head. "No, I was just a little tired...I didn't sleep much." 

Hinata smiled softly, before walking past Kageyama. Flowers trailed from behind him as if he were a fairy descended from a magical forest. As if he was deprived of his life force, he still looked ever so beautiful. 

The rest of the day continued in a blur, I stared out the window, watching the rain fall against the glass, pattering like my heart whenever they're near. 

"Shrimp." 

"Tsukishima." 

Tsuki was taken aback by the cold tone of the other. He was usually greeted with a smile and 'Tsuki!' 

Hinata looked unamused, pale, and lifeless. 

"I...yesterday...flowers..." 

"Oh...flowers...yes." 

"So....what were they for..?" 

"Nothing, they meant nothing, Tsukishima." 

The bell rang, where he then went home. 

"H-hey, wait!" 

Hinata continued to walk faster out of the building, leaving a trail of flowers once more. He was truly a fairy descended from the magical forest. 

Tsukishima clutched the petals in his hand, opening the crushed petals in his hand. "Shoyo..." 

Hinata made his way home, remembering the story once more. 

"Because I loved him, I let him go." 

She knew that even though he didn't love her back, she would rather see him happy than miserable. 

A flower blossomed from her lungs, vines coursed through her body. She spent her last few hours in the enchanted forest, where she would turn into a flower. 

"It's because he was happy...even if it wasn't with me..." 

Legends say that she still roams the earth, walking ever so delicately, leaving a trail of flowers behind each step she takes. Others say, maybe she reincarnated into a beautiful soul that shines as bright as the sun. They say that her love was so pure that she became a flower nymph, perhaps a goddess. 

I say...that her love was beautiful, yet tainted. She loved a man who didn't love her back, but it was alright. She did whatever she could to make him happy, even if it was without her. Flowers trail behind her, marking each place she's travelled. Truth be told, nobody knows what happened to her. Was she really happy in the end? 

If she were here right now, I wish she could guide me. To take the aches and woes away from my heart that pangs ever so heavily. They say to follow your heart and let it guide you, but my heart yearns in multiple directions. As if the vines had sprouted from my heart and desires to reach different places. 

It's as if my heartstrings want to pull me in different directions. 

Kags, Tsuki, Great King, Tsumu, Samu, Omi, Ten, Ushi, Kaashi, Bo, Kuroo, Ken Ken. 

The flower in my heart desires to sprout to each and every one of you. I know it seems like a taboo, but I can't. I've decided to live the rest of my days happily. I don't want to drag them down, to have them pity me. I desire to live my life to the fullest, even if that means they don't love me. So oh great fairy of the enchanted forest, hear my cries and woes and take me to Valhalla. 

I choked, coughing on more petals, how they glowed so effortlessly and vibrantly, just like them. I clench my shirt, on my chest. Sighing, oh how she must have felt to love him so effortlessly and dearly. As wicked as this may seem, I wish to not deem, that you will see the greater meaning in life, as your star crossed not meant to be lover. 

With that was the 27th day.