My Hana

2🏵

It's the final month of my first yet last year of high school, ironic, right? I parked my bike and locked it up by the bike rack, making my way up to the club room. Considering my way to school was hell, I thought that maybe I could go see Suga san to calm me down. 

Volleyball season is over, but it hurts to say goodbye to my senpais, considering their graduation. Not to mention, to the boys I've loved before. 

"Morning Suga-" 

My breath hitched, and there it was, flowers. 

"Hina-" 

Suga came running towards me, "Hinata?? Are you okay?" 

I nodded, coughing up more flowers. 

"I'm alright Suga-San, please don't tell anyone about this."

"B-but Hinata-"

I looked at Suga, putting my hand on his arms, "I'm alright, really." 

Suga timidly nodded his head, helping me get up. 

"Suga, I just can't have everyone worry about me, and it's not like it's gonna stay like this forever right. Sometimes I think feelings are stupid." 

Suga San looked at me with Sympathy. "Shoyo...how much longer..."

"29 days."

Suga pulled me in and hugged me tightly. "Are you going to tell them?"

I shook my head, "It's pointless even if I do. It's not like they're going to suddenly love me back...at least not all of them." 

"Hm, what do you mean by 'all of them?'" 

Hinata whispered into Suga's ear. "I don't just love one person, but multiple, in fact, I love 12 different people, it's hopeless. I can't have them love me back in what, 29 days?" 

I chuckled hysterically, "what are the odds? I just hope that maybe one day, I'll be able to tell them what I really wanted to tell them." 

Suga smiled, but I could tell he wasn't really happy. 

"Well then, Hinata, I wish you the best of luck." 

I nodded, making my way out of the club room and heading to my first class. I walked in, sitting down at my seat, looking out the window. I coughed out coughs periodically, shoving the petals into my pockets. 

"Oi Boke!"

There he was, the love of my life, well, one of them at least. 

Some think he's scary, other's don't dare to talk to him, meanwhile, I just happen to be madly in love with him. The moment our eyes met, the burning feeling engulfed me once more. "Shit." I ran past him, rushing towards the bathroom. 

"Hey- Boke!"

I started coughing, vomiting up blue petals. Funny, isn't it. I can't even look at him in the eyes without feeling as if my whole body is going to suffocate. I quickly made it back to the classroom, after flushing the petals down the toilet. 

I made it back to the classroom, sitting back at my seat. "Hey, Bo-" I turned around, and looked at the window, not bothering to make eye contact with Him. 

"Boke-?" 

I ignored him, continuing to peer out the window. 

"Tch." He stopped trying to talk to me and just focused on paying attention to the class. Halfway through, he fell asleep. I couldn't help but admire him sleeping. "It hurts me more than it hurts you, kags." I sighed, watching him sleep. "Surely I can't avoid him forever, right?" But the thing is I didn't have forever. 

Once the bell rang, I ran out the door, heading towards my next class. I didn't want Kageyama to bother me, so I dashed through the halls. I wasn't paying attention and just my luck. "Sorry-" I ran past him and towards the bathroom. Yellow petals, this time.

"Hey shrimp-" 

The instant I heard his voice echoing through the halls, I ran from the stalls, not bothering to flush the petals down. "Hey-"

And I ran, faster and faster.

"You dropped something-" 

Tsuki held the yellow petal in his hand, clutching it. "Flowers?"

I made it to class, reminiscing through my thoughts. "Tsukishima Kei." 

That salty bastard, oh how he makes me want to beat his face, but I can't help that I'm in love with the stupid man named Tsukishima Kei. 

Again, I coughed, but with blood. "Ah, is this what it feels like to be dying?"

From this day forward, I had kept a journal. Clocking down the time I had left. 

29 days left to live...live...is this what it feels like to be alive? I sighed, closing my notebook and slouching in my chair. It was finally the last period and I would be free. I finally get a text, once the bell rings. "Kenma" 

I sigh, opening the text. 

K- Hey Sho, wanna come over this weekend?

H- Sure Kenma! 

K- Sounds good :)

H - I'll see you Saturday. 

I know I can't keep avoiding them, I just have to...stay strong, right. Hinata put on his signature grin. "I'm alright. It's okay." 

He biked all the way home, skipping dinner. He didn't seem to have an appetite. His room was still filled with flowers. Hinata choked, sobbing in his room. Flowers kept pouring and pouring out of his mouth. They were mixed with the metallic scent of his blood. Blood, blood everywhere. He curled up into his bed, bringing his knees to his chest. "It's okay Sho, it'll be alright." 

That night he cried himself to sleep, holding and clenching his stomach. It felt unbearable, how could this happen. Hinata's dream was filled of the childhood story, of the girl who loved a man who didn't love her back. 

"How did you deal with all this pain?" 

"It was worth it if I could see my love happy." 

And so the girl disappeared, becoming the flower she never got to be. 

She never got to be his Hana.

Soon, it came the 28th day.