My Hana

11😼

Everything Reminds me of you, Shoyo. I cover my head, lifting my hood up to stop the tears from falling, but it doesn't work. Nothing will make me forget about you, I promise. I promised you, my sunshine. 

He looked down at his pendant that Shoyo had given him the last time he saw him. How brightly he smiled at him as they pinky promised how he would never forget him. How he waved goodbye off into the sunset. How he still shone brighter than the stars in the sky. 

I'm trying to get my mind off you, but it always keeps on coming back. The way the wind blows reminds me of how you'd run up to me after watching the sakura tree's bloom. How your laugh was ever so contagious. How you beamed brighter than the sunflowers surrounding. How you, your presence, was everything to me. 

I still remember your fingers interlocking with the locks of my hair, as you braid it. I still remember it Sho. 

I remember how you gently braided and placed flowers in it, telling me I looked pretty. How could I ever forget those words coming from you? You giggled softly, before looking into my eyes, beaming with joy and smiling. "You're so pretty Ken Ken!" 

I couldn't help but have my heartbeat for you then. All I could do was look at you in awe, as I knew that I couldn't help but have a flushed face. All I know is that I didn't know what was happening, but I was happiest when I was with you. 

But now without you, I feel so god damn incomplete. It feels as if the sun has stopped shining, and the world became devoid of life. Every day is sad and gloomy because I know now that I have to live every day without you. 

He smiled softly, walking into his ever so empty room. He laid down on his bed, curling up into a ball. He was holding the letter from Shoyo, it was still the same as it was before, unopened. 

I still remember the scent of him, as if it was yesterday. How he looked so peaceful as he fell asleep. I still remember that night where I wish I could've turned around and held him close to me. How I wish I could have kissed his forehead softly, snuggling him into my chest. How I wish I just told him right then and there. 

He opened the letter, and there it was, a polaroid of him and the love of his life, his sunshine. 

He chuckled, reminiscing the memory as if it occurred yesterday. They had met for the first time at a practice match. He was so excited to be making new friends that he ran up to me ever so excitedly, posing for a picture. It was the first memory we had created with each other. 

I didn't feel repulsed, not one bit. It felt warm, being next to him. But now, without him, life is cold and empty. He placed the picture into a frame, putting it beside his bedside. He gently kissed the forehead of Shoyo's photo before placing it down. He then unfolded the letter, reading the contents that were held inside. 

Gahhhhh! Hiya! It's Shoyo! Well, obviously, I wrote this to you? Wait, is it obvious? Ahhh writing is hard! School sucks and writing is hard! But that's okay! For you, it's worth it! 

Kenma smiled softly, as he traced his finger over the paper, chuckling as tears gently fell from his eyes. "Classic Sho." He muttered under his breath. 

This letter is very very very important so you better remember whatever is in this! It took me a long time to write this, but that's not the point. This letter is to Ken Ken. Kenma. Kenma Kozume. If you heard by now, or well by the time you've got this letter, you know that I'm gone. Dead. No longer apart of the world. 

Sad, isn't it? But that's alright. Although I'm not here anymore, I still wish for you to never forget me, you promised, remember Ken Ken? I still remember when we first met and you seemed so lonely. I ran up to you and shouted, you were startled a bit but it was cute. 

Ken Ken, you're my best friend. My bestest friend! Nobody ever gets me like how you do. The last time we met was wonderful. I wish that during the night you heard my voice. Maybe, just maybe I hoped you heard. But if you didn't, I'm still going to tell you now. I love you, Ken Ken. 

I have always loved you, Ken Ken! From the moment I laid eyes on you. Til the moment I last saw you. I always have loved you, I always will love you. I thought you were such a dork whenever you stuck your tongue out whenever you were beating the final boss. I loved how you scrunched your nose whenever you were focused. I loved the way you held yourself, not caring about the world around you. 

I love everything about you, even if others don't. I love how you always mock Kuroo whenever he teases you. I love the way you stare at me in awe whenever I compliment you. I just love you. All of you. I love your imperfections, but that's what makes you perfect! 

So, what I really want you to know is that you are perfect just the way you are. It's alright if you don't love me back, because to love someone, you need to know when to let them go. I've let you go, Ken Ken...

Love Shoyo.

Kenma gently clutched the letter, crumpling it slightly. But I didn't want him to let me go. I heard him that night. I heard him weep as he softly told me how he loved me. I gently sobbed as he said that because I too loved him. I was a coward, I couldn't turn around, I couldn't have held him close. I didn't tell him that I loved him back and now he's gone. Dead. My sunshine is dead. He will never come back. If I just told him that night, maybe it would be alright. 

I looked down at my pendant that was gifted by you. I should have told you, I shouldn't have let you go. But it's too late. Because if you really love someone...you have to let them go...

And so I let you go...

I let you go...

Please don't go...