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+ Chapter 4.0

It was escalating.

Five. And then six.

And he didn't think he was going to be able to get it to stop before he was meant to go present himself to the metaphorical wolves.

Like he was nothing more than an offering to be given.

Seven.

He scooped them up and laid them to dry on a towel spread out across the end of his bed. Formed them into proper blooms and felt despair well up within his chest.

Because how long would it be before he was throwing up whole flowers instead of simply the petals?

Eight. And then nine.

Until he feared even opening his mouth because who knew when they might come pouring out.

And worst of all, was the knowledge that he was directly responsible. That he had done this to himself. That he had been the one who had agreed, ignored every single out that had been given to him.

Ten.

And as he held them all within his palm, he knew that the path to his own destruction had already been formed. All he could do now was walk it.

...

He shouldn't be doing this. And he knew it.

He could, realistically, still back out. All he would need is to go to Namjoon. Because surely Jungkook wouldn't go against his word.

But he already, hadn't he? Had played right into Seokjin's inability to not give him everything he wanted right in front of the other.

So there was no one who could save him.

Except for himself. And he already knew he wasn't strong enough for that.

"You're late." Those words brought him out of his thoughts and he had to bite his bottom lip to keep the ugly black tar and petals that wanted to fall from his mouth inside.

Because Jungkook couldn't have just made this easy. Of course not. That would have been too kind.

He didn't know what he had been expecting, really. Surely not this. Surely just for them to discuss what was going to happen. Their limits. An adult, mature conversation that he should have known that neither of them were capable of having.

Because Jungkook didn't need to be shirtless for this. He just didn't.

"I almost got started without you." It was deep and husky, and he found himself sinking his teeth into his lip for an entirely different reason.

"Started with what, Jungkook-ah?" It was always that now. No longer did he use all of the soft, cute nicknames that he once had. He barely even referred to him by his initials, trying to place that barrier between them. Only to have it constantly being torn down.

"Don't be like that, Hyung. What happened to all of those names you used to like to call me?" Of course he would be called out. And he felt embarrassment welling up inside him. Felt his ears begin to burn as he glanced around, hoping that no one would chose that moment to leave their room.

"Are you going to let me in or should I just -" But there was a hand being slapped across his mouth, and he could practically feel the bruise already starting to form.

"What did I tell you about being so mouthy?" That no one was going to want a mouthy omega like him.

An omega like him.

But he couldn't help it. Because while his heart was already cracked and broken and yet somehow still capable of over ruling his mind, his brain still worked just enough to not know when to quit.