Me Llamo Tokio (My Name Is Tokyo) - A Money Heist Prequel

Chapter 15 - Sour Cherry Liquor

The sunlight is flooding the room, making the crystal chandelier reflect the light like a rainbow exploded into thousands of particles. There's an inexplicable beauty in the dance of the dust in the light, combined with the mesmerizing colors unfolded all around us.
I close my eyes and I breathe in the scent of citruses and musk. I don't know if I'm still dreaming or not. His arms are wrapped around my body, keeping me glued to his bare chest.
A sigh escapes from between my lips. I never ever imagined that this could be real. Not even in the countless scenarios that my mind has created during this time, Juan was being that close to me.
I can't describe how I'm feeling after everything that happened last night. And, as I close my eyes, all I can see are his eyes looking into mine before he did the gesture that changed everything. Because his lips embracing mine made me jump from the verge of self destruction to an unimaginable state of bliss in just a few seconds.
What Juan can do almost scares me, because no man, till now, succeeded to make me experience such a deep connection only from a simple kiss. He feels like a magnet while I'm just a tiny piece of metal, desperate to glue to him like he's the answer to all my dilemmas, like he can cure the pain and heal me for good. Partly it's true, because this is the first morning when I wake up without feeling that void in my soul.
The butterflies from my stomach are so agitated to the point that they went up to my chest. I feel them like they're about to break through my skin, and I'm trying to adjust the way I'm breathing. This state of absolute happiness is something I've never felt before. It might be hard for me to cope with it in the beginning, but having him here gives me the power to control myself up to a point where the joy won't kill me.
This is the first morning when I wake up in someone's arms. This is the first morning when I feel like I can breathe till the end without the anxiety creeping in half of my lungs. This is the morning when I finally feel alive.
His eyelids flicker. He'll be awake soon.

Last night, after the kiss, he promised me that he'll never let me down, and that he'll always take care of me.
I couldn't say anything. I buried my face in his chest, and cried, and cried for what felt like hours. He stood there, holding me and telling me that everything is gonna be okay, and how sorry he is for what he did to me, for making me suffer and for dragging me here. As much as I wanted to reply to him, I couldn't. I was just staying there, letting the pain pour out of me, my hands holding his tightly, like I was scared that it's all happening just in my mind and soon he'll disappear like they all do.
But he didn't. He carried me to the bed, laying down next to me and said:
"I won't leave you. I swear, I won't."
I tried to at least thank him, but I couldn't. My eyes were filled with tears and my words were drowning in that salty taste. I wanted to look at him, but an avalanche of watery pain was blocking my sight.
Then, I felt his cold fingers touching my eyelids, gently wiping away my sorrow, while he was whispering something unintelligible, probably in an attempt to comfort me.
"It's okay, I'm here now." is what I could distinguish after a while.
The first thing I saw when my vision wasn't blurred by the tears anymore, were his emerald eyes staring into mine.
He kissed me again, and this time it was like he was trying to tell me that he's here, to let me know that he won't go and that he'll protect me. And I felt it, I felt the care and his true feelings. I felt safe. A thing that I could've never imagined myself living anytime soon.
"I..." was the only thing that I could mumble through the new wave of tears.
"It's okay." Juan said caressing my hair and holding me tightly. "Stay with me."
His arms wrapped around me and I felt his warmth traveling deeply till the darkest corners of my body, warming my soul, and helping me regain  entirely my ability to breathe.
"You need to rest." he whispered.
"I... can't." I replied slowly.
"Nothing will happen. I promise I'll protect you." he said, kissing my forehead.
I smiled.
"You..." I tried to find my words.
"Yes?" he replied.
"You won't go?" I asked.
I probably sounded like a child, but my insecure self needed this. I needed to be reassured even about some obvious things due to the fact that most of my life I lived with the constant fear that I'll be left alone for good.
"I promise I won't move from here. Silene, please trust me." he almost begged me.
"I do." I whispered.
And he did something really unexpected. In case I was wondering if that night can have more surprises than I already thought, he sang me. A long fado ballad in Portuguese. A song of love and loss that I couldn't entirely understand, but felt it deep down in my tired soul.
My eyes became heavier with every verse, and at some point I gave in, letting the sleep take over.
I'm pretty sure I knew when he stopped singing, as much as I felt how he kissed the top of my head. A thing only will remain unsure, the last words he whispered that sounded so much like:
"Te quiero."*