Me Llamo Tokio (My Name Is Tokyo) - A Money Heist Prequel

Chapter 10 - A New Beginning

The strands of hair are falling on the bathroom floor, forming a messy circle around my legs. I never imagined that this is gonna be such a refreshing experience, as I never thought that shortening your hair will feel like your own rebirth.
Memories. Pains. Traumas. All are being cut by my merciless hand, alongside with the people who brought so much pain to me in the past.
I look in the mirror and smile. I'm pleased by the result. What was once a long brown mop is now a short and tidy bob, perfectly aligned with my jawline. I take the scissors again, trying to cut my bangs straight.
"Silene?" Juan says from behind the door.
I was about to cut off half of my bangs and this left me wondering: why men are always having the worst timings possible?
"What?" I ask annoyed.
"Your coffee is getting cold." he says.
"What an apocalyptical situation to annoy a woman while she's in the bathroom, Juan." I whisper between my teeth.
Luckily, he hasn't heard me.
"I'll be back soon." I say louder.
"Okay." he replies and I hear footsteps going away.
Finally, I can finish my cut. I was waiting to do this ever since I left my place in Barcelona, and when Juan said he's going to make some coffee, I knew this was my moment.
Today was the day when we were going to get the fake papers and establish our new identities. And there was no way I was going to look like the old me.
When my bangs are aligned enough to please all my obsessive compulsive disorders, I put the scissors down and start analyzing myself in the mirror. There was something telling me that I should've done this sooner. I feel like a completely different person and I love it more than I thought.
And because a change can't come alone, I decided that it's time to use those makeup products that I was carrying in my hoodie. My cheeks feel warm instantly, as I remembered the moment when Juan told me about the fact that I was sounding like a bell because of them. But what makes things even weirder is when he told me that I don't need those products to look good.
I put on some powder, trying desperately to hide my redness. He said he's not mixing work with love, but, still, he complimented me before. I've never ever in my life had so many mixed feelings about something.
"Silene, it's late." I hear him from the bedroom.
"Coming!" I scream.
I spread the powder all over my face, then I throw the box back in my hoodie's pocket. I have to get out. Judging by Juan's tone, there's no time for lipstick. My hands are moving faster on the floor, trying to gather as much hair as possible and throw it in the toilet. I push the flush and I get out of the bathroom.
When I step into the small bedroom, I see how Juan's face changes from an exasperated look to a really surprised one, in a just a few seconds.
"Wow." is everything he manages to say.
"Yes, I know. I told you I look good with makeup." I laugh.
"No, it's not that. Your hair looks nice."
"Oh, that." I say nonchalantly, like I haven't cut half of my hair and threw it in the toilet. "Thanks."
He hands me a cup of coffee. It smells amazing and the taste isn't too far either. I want to thank him for it, but he disappears in the balcony before I get to say anything.
Being left alone leaves me with no option other than to start packing my things. I gather the clothes and snacks and put them back in my backpack. To Juan's amusement, I had quite a fight with it this morning, because the stupid thing was stuck by the amount of clothes that were stashed in there and was refusing to open.
When I'm done packing, I get my boots and take a seat on the bed. I can't stop myself from thinking how Juan took them off last night. It was a tiny gesture, but it showed an amount of care that no one offered me till now.
Juan comes in before I can think of anything else, and I guess he sees that I was looking at my boots, smiling like an idiot.
He opens his backpack, and I try to change my face, hoping that it works for my own dignity. In the last three days, I showed this guy way too much of myself and this thing was giving me a sense of insecurity in a way. Like he can steal who I am and run with it in the blink of an eye, and I really didn't want to lose that, not after what I've been through to discover my true self.
"I want you to have this." he says in a serious voice.
When I turn to look at him, I'm really surprised to see him standing with a small gun in his hand.
"Juan..." I start, hesitantly.
"You earned it." Juan looks like there's nothing in the world that can change his mind. "If you're gonna come with me, you'll need this. You know, just in case things won't go as planned."
I laugh, thinking about Sancho.
"Thank you." I say, taking the gun.
A shiver goes down my spine. It feels exactly like Juan's gun, the one that I used to end Sancho's life.
"Look here." he says taking out his own gun.
I watch him carefully, as he's presenting me the mechanism of his pistol.
"You'll need to load a round into the chamber by pulling back the slide and releasing it. Look, now it's loaded." he says, showing me how it's done. "I'll teach you how to fire it when we'll be outside, even if I'm quite sure you don't need the training."
"Oh, come on." I say laughing. "It was just beginner's luck."
"No one has that much luck, Silene." he says. "You have it in you."
"Thanks." I whisper.
He has no idea how right he is. I always had in me a side that was prone to destruction. The suffering that I endured was probably proportional with the suffering that I brought to others too. Everyone was telling me that I'm like a bad omen. A black cat they said, because all the time I was appearing, something bad was happening. I'm trying so hard not to think about it, because I know that if I'll go back there, I won't be able to keep my cool and I'll end up breaking down. And today wasn't the day for such a thing.
"Are you done?" Juan asks looking at the cup of coffee.
"Yes, yes." I say then hand him the cup.
He takes it and goes to the bathroom to wash it. We shouldn't leave any traces behind and right now I'm having second thoughts whether I should go check again if there's hair left in the bathroom or not.
"Get your backpack and get ready." I hear him and I remember that we weren't quite in time.
I do as he says, and take one last look through the room. Everything looks good so far, better than when we entered I might add, because the smell of mold wasn't that bad anymore.
"Are you ready?" Juan asks when he goes out of the bathroom.
"Yes. I checked the room too." I reply proudly. "You checked the bathroom?"
"Yes, I did. It's okay."
I guess he's doubting my checking skills, because he takes one last round through the room before he says:
"Alright, let's go."