Catching Fireflies

Twelve

A

As I shut myself into my room and laid myself on my bed, My thoughts ran through my head as I closed my eyes and sighed. I thought of the minor conversation between Cris and Maria, two girls I was once friends with. I could've easily glossed over it, but the way Cris ignored it, ignored me, I couldn't let it slide, nor was I going to ignore it too.

"Just here to check up on you, with there being a crude next door."

The words rang through my head, echoed even.

While I had dealt with the fact that Cris for a while wanted nothing to do with me, I also had to withstand the glares I received from her friends too. It made things much harder, more confusing as no one bothered to explain to me what happened and what I might have done to make them so angry with me.

Isaac was once my friend too, but soon after we was harsh towards me, but not that much. We could still be friendly on the basketball court or during any sort of practices. But as soon as we ventured around Cris, his demeanor changed and he did everything in his power to push me away as far as possible.

I didn't question it after a while. I just assumed that I wouldn't get the clarity I want and just go on being the horrible person I probably was in their eyes. Even though it hurt, I did it anyway.

Just another reason to stay awake at night.

I sat there and did what I always did in situations like so, and tried hard to retrace my steps and figure out if there was something down the line, something that I did to upset them all. I could never figure out what, and everything went downhill after the party was held to celebrate the end of the basketball season and our winnings.

But the only ones out of that friend group that was there was Faith and Cris.

I remember being there, in the middle of a cramped house with everyone dancing to the blaring music and spilling their cups of alcohol all over the floor. No one cared and stepped through it like normal and dragged it around the rest of the house.

It was pretty gross.

I couldn't remember how many drinks I had, I lost count after the third full cup that I had misplaced somewhere in the kitchen, maybe it got stolen. However much I drank, it was enough to enable me from being able to walk in a straight line without some help.

Girls pulled me deeper into the dance crowd and got up against me as they danced. I pushed them all away and tried to push my way out. I jerked myself away from grabbing hands, and shoved people to the side as I tried to get through the house to some sort of exit. Everything was sticky and sweaty and all I wanted was some fresh air that didn't reek of body odor.

I eventually found the front door and walked out of the party house. There was no porch or any furniture. It was probably done on purpose to keep everyone inside, so I assumed that I was the only person standing outside, but someone else lingered there, out in the lawn.

When I ventured closer, Cris was there sitting in the grass. She had a cup of beer, and she played with the grass with the fingers. She tore pieces of it from the ground, then lifted her hand to sprinkled the stems of grass back down to the ground. She watched them as they fell.

In the time leading up to then, I had always watched Cris from a distance. I saw the little things she did, from the way she smiled based on certain things, like how she gets excited over the lunch menu, or how a joke makes her laugh. If I wasn't already with her, I would watch from afar just to get another glimpse of her smile and the way her eyes glowed when she did.

They don't do that as often anymore, and I was afraid I was the reason for it disappearing.

She slowly sipped her drink as she stared off in the distance. I walked away from the front door of the house, and over to where Cris was in the front lawn. I took a seat next to her.