Catching Fireflies

Five

A

"What do you normally do when you can't sleep?" I asked her. She let out a breath and looked up at the sky. I watched the stars twinkle from her eyes. They were a much better sky to look at.

"I usually just stand out on my balcony, or sneak out into the woods." She said. She laughed because she knew her sentence sounded silly.

"What's so special about the woods?" I had asked. I thought of a clearing she might go too, or maybe there was a bench hidden back there that she found to be a comfy resting spot.

"Follow me, I'll show you." She stood up from the steps and I followed directly behind her. She went in between our houses and jumped a small fence that neither of us seemed to know what it was for or where it came from. It was rather dark and it was hard to keep up with Cris without being able to see and she weaved through all of the weeds and tree branches with ease. It made me wonder how often she came back here at night and how often she wasn't able to sleep.

After a few minutes, she led me into a clearing and in the middle of it was an old beaten down deer stand. The roof on it seemed to have been removed or blown off but the rest seemed mostly intact.

With there being no trees in the way, it was a great spot to look up at the sky on a nice clear night. I watched as Cris walked over to the deer stand and waved me over. I climbed onto it with her, and saw a watersealed metal box off to the side with a combination lock on it. She undid the metal lock and opened the box and took out a blanket and a few pillows.

"How often do you come out here?" Cris giggled as she laid out the pillows and blanket then tapped her chin.

"I've never been a great sleeper, so quite a bit. I come out here on nice days too. Nights are always better though." Cris then laid on the make-shift bed and patted the spot next to her. I laid down too without getting too close to her.

"How did you find out about this place?" I asked.

"You ask too many questions." I just wanted to know what went on in her head and waht things made her happy and what things made her relax and all of her favorite places. This place became one of my favorites too.

"I'm just trying to get to know you better." I said.

"My dad used to take me and Liam back here to play games while he read a book on the deer stand." I chuckled.

"Sounds like a fun childhood."

"For the most part. We don't get moments like that together anymore. Someone's always busy." Cris frowned and I realized that the entire time I had been staring at her instead of the stars.

I finally looked up and saw them. They seemed so much closer there than they did in any other place. Cris told me that some nights she could reach out her hands as if she were able to touch one or hold one in the palm of her hand. I tried doing it myself, and if I imagined hard enough, I could almost feel them dancing along my fingers.

I caught her staring at me in awe then.

We laid there for what seemed like hours. I listened as Cris pointed out her favorite constellations and I traced through mine. At one point we thought we had seen a shooting star, but it could have been an airplane. Either way, we wished upon it and laughed at our childish thinking.

I wished for the moment to never end, but it had too.

"I'm gonna head back now. I need to at least try and get some sleep." Cris got up and I helped her put the blanket and pillows away and then let her lead us back out of the clearing and to our respective driveways. I went back into my room and it had gotten hot and stuffy so I opened up my window. As I did, I saw Cris's bedroom light turn on. In the spur of the moment, I grabbed the closest pencil I had and tossed it at her window. It made a soft 'tong' sound as it hit the glass and soon after, Cris opened her window too.

"I thought someone was breaking in for a minute there." Cris smiled and I chuckled.

"Nope, just me," We ended up talking for another hour through our opened windows. I felt bad for keeping her awake and told her more than once that she didn't have to stay up to talk to me, but each time she dismissed it and always found something new to talk about.

We did that all summer. Sometimes during school too.

My dad once told me the phrase 'all good things must come to an end'. I never wanted to believe him or that statement, but as basketball season came to an end, I was beginning to believe just that.

Out of the blue, Cris stopped talking to me. She avoided me in the halls, found excuses to leave the room when I was there, moved seats if I tried sitting next to her, and once when I confronted her about it and touched her shoulder she flinched.

She flinched when I touched her.

I never knew what I did wrong, or what to do. I just assumed that I messed up somehow and she wanted nothing to do with me.

I gave her space and kept my distance. As the days passed on I couldn't handle it anymore. I craved for conversation and to sneak out into the woods with her. I craved her entirely.

So I stopped her one last time. As I passed her in the school halls one morning, I grabbed her arm as gently as I could. She still flinched.

I looked into her eyes, and I asked her, please. I only asked please. I don't know what for, I mauve hoped that she would understand the message and how much of this was slowly killing me.

She just told me to stop touching her.

So I did.

I just stopped.