Catching Fireflies

Fourteen

C

Shortly after everything had happened that night of the party, I began having nightmares. They normally consisted of the assault happening over and over again, but in different ways. I figured it was my body's way of fitting different puzzle pieces together in hopes of getting the completed puzzle. Either way, it never fully unlocked the memory.

However, one dream I had was out of the ordinary and left me restless for a few nights. While the dream itself had its regular components, there was another added element that threw everything off balance for myself. This dream in particular included Maria that time around. As for what reason, I had no idea. I didn't dwell on it that much, but it still lingered there in the back of my head

When I did think about it, I reveled in the fact that for a while, me and Maria had been growing apart. Yeah, we still were together a lot and hung out with other friends, the atmosphere was still different. The number one reason was because we couldn't agree on my situation with Ashley and what to do about it. I did end up listening to Maria and her suggestions from Isaac, but there was still tension on whether I would actually follow all the way through with that plan.

I did, for a little while.

I never really understood it though. She once told me that no matter what she would be there for me regardless of what decision I made, but the more I go against it, the more she notices and harbors her harshness for me. It was so much that Faith began to notice.

"I don't know what's going on with you two but it's got to stop. I'm not getting in the middle of that and neither will Isaac." Faith was a wonderful friend, but oftentimes she stayed out of the conflict between me and Ashley, only sharing her thoughts here and there and simply saying that the smart move was to move on and stay away from Ashley if he really was the one who did it. Other than that, she kept herself distant.

That time period was always strange, with how things played out, and everyone's different thoughts on the matter. It always had some sort of tension being pulled between us. I always blamed part of my fear on the tension between our small group that if I solved this, it could either bring us together, or tear us apart completely.

It was a risk I had to take eventually, but getting myself up to do it became the hard part.

So much conflict in only a short amount of time.

"It's hard to do what you want to do when all your friends are against it. They have reasons to be, but sometimes you just have to do what your heart tells you too." Liam told me while we hid in the basement together while our parents were deep in discussion over something that didn't involve either of us.

"I don't even know what my heart wants me to do." I said.

"Yes you do. You just refuse to do it because it contradicts your friends and that causes conflict. You don't like conflict."

"I don't like conflict,"

"Exactly," Liam clicked his tongue. "For once, listen to yourself instead of your friends." That was much easier said than done.

It was hard to go against them, Maria to be more precise. She was always there for me and I was always there for her. While I struggled with this she was there to help me. It was difficult to go against everything she had done to protect me from Ashley or any other source of evil done to me. I was there for Maria when she found her dad dead on the floor.

We were inseparable for as long as anyone could remember. Always reeking havoc and finding ways to stay with each other as long as we could. But in those recent days, she met Isaac and somehow he had swept her off of her feet. She was smitten whether or not she admitted it. We all saw it in Isaac too. She drifted away slowly, found herself being with Isaac more than any of us, but we never minded. Sometimes you just meet new people like how I met Ashley.