Catching Fireflies

Twenty Eight

A

I watched her. I watched her shatter and break into a million pieces after a few set of words that meant everything to her and nothing at the same time. I watched the effects of my words make her crumble into herself as she staggered back wards and hit a tree.

So much must've been going through her head a she started muttering nonsense to herself. Someone she should've been able to trust had done something so wrong to her, did something to make her hate herself so much to the point that she was burning herself alive.

And to think that she thought that it was me. That I had done it. A part of her was relieved though, I could see a part of it written on her face. Yet, she was still so heartbroken to know that someone who claimed to have been protecting her, was the one to break her entire being without even a second thought. Without even a care. 

Every part of me wanted to kill him. Grab him by the throat with my own bare hands and strangle him until he could no longer breathe.

I wanted to watch him struggle to survive as she did. 

She curled into herself as she slid down the tree she walked herself into. She wrapped her arms around her knees in a way to keep herself together. I hated watching this, hated that she was hurting like this. In different ways I understood that pain to an extent to help.

But I could never understand the damage that she was dealt. I could never in a million years understand the filth she could feel linger on her skin even though she was clean. 

And to think that for months she thought it was me? That I did this? That her own friend let her believe it was me for so long when it wasn't and never was me?

No this isn't about me. 

It's about the fragile little girl whose broken and breaking in front of me.

Little girl.

She was so strong. 

She had barely looked up at me but I saw the stains on her cheeks and it broke a piece of me to see her in such a state. So I walked to her, lowered myself enough to unwrap her arms and hands from herself. She looked up at me fully and i softened as I looked at her. I held her hands in mine.

"I'm pathetic," She sniffled. She let out a sob as more tears spilled down her cheeks. This hurt me. This hurt me so much. 

And god. She said she loved me.

"No you're not," I whispered to her. I brought a hand up to wipe her tears away even if more came down to replace them. I held her face in my hands and hoped that maybe she could feel a little more pieced together. "You're not any less of a person for going through this."

"You're just saying that?" Does she really think so? I supposed I couldn't blame her for thinking I was lying. Who else does she think can she trust anymore?

"Why? Cause I pity you?" And her silence was enough of a response for me. "I will be the last person to ever 'pity' you. I'm not just saying that because I feel sorry for you, I say it because I mean it. You're the strongest person I have ever met, Princess. None of this is your fault." I took her hands again and pulled her up unto her feel away from the gross tree she was sitting against. I pulled into me, and wrapped her tightly in my arms as I felt her burry herself into me. I felt her hands grab my shirt, desperate for something to hold on to.

I didn't care how broken she might be, I'm just so happy I can be here to hold as tightly as I am right now and never let go. 

"I want to show you something," I said, and slowly peeled her off of me and took her hand in mine. I walked her deeper into the forest towards the resorts lake. I had found it when we first got here when I explored the place a bit. It's a perfect spot to go for a swim and not go too far out.