Catching Fireflies

Fifteen

A

Electric. Lightning. Exotic maybe? I had no words really. It felt like a dream. I couldn't have been real to have her right there in front of me, staring at me the same way I would stare at her. I didn't know what I was thinking, nor what I was doing, but I was doing it and God did it melt me.

She shuddered underneath my fingertips. I fell under her gaze and it took my entire willpower to prevent myself from lifting her up onto the thick surfaced railing.

I noticed her shivering a moment ago, so I took off my sweatshirt and handed it to her. She slipped it on with ease.

I wanted to kiss her lips again. And so I did. Again, and again, and again. I kept going until she told me to stop. She never did until at last she firmly placed her hand on my chest and I stood back and looked at her. Swollen lips and eyes were heavy. Her hair was a bit of a mess from my hands.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. She grabbed my hand within hers and pulled me down from the balcony steps and then to the side of our houses and into the woods. She dragged me straight to the deer stand but instead of going onto it like we normally did, she let go of my hand and ran through the opening with her arms spread open. She spun around, danced on her feet, and look up at the sky with a bright smile and she went around.

I stood in awe.

Little flashing bugs started to fly up from the grass and she watched them. She sprinted towards the nearest one and clasped her hands around it. She stopped and looked at her clasped hands and then opened them. She watched the little bug flutter off of her palm and back into the air, flashing its little bum. She watched and adored them.

I watched and adored her.

Cris looked back at me and rushed over. She grabbed my hands and dragged me into the field with her. While she pointed out all of the bugs in the air and even counted the stars.

"They are like the stars we can catch. The ones we can reach out and touch." She said, looking as if she were a kid again. This was something I had never done with her, something she had never expressed like this. She talked a lot about her old love of chasing after bugs, but she had never, ever, acted around me like this.

I loved it.

I didn't know what to do. I stood there like an idiot while she held my hand and caught one bug after the other gently and let them go. I didn't know if I want to laugh and be giddy with her or to just stand there and watch her.

A bug landed on the tip of her finger. Another landed on her shoulder. She flew off of her as she moved suddenly, but the gesture made her smile grow and it was extraordinary. I hadn't seen her smile so much like this before, and if I had, it was in a dream.

Or it had been a very long time since the last time she actually genuinely smiled.

A firefly landed on my nose and blinked. Cris turned and faced me. We both watched the firefly as it crawled up my nose and to my forehead. It crawled out of my vision and my eyes refocused on Cris who was still intently watching the firefly as it crawled on top of my hair. I watched it blink in her eyes and eventually her eyes focused on mine.

"You drive me crazy, Princess," I murmured.

"How so?" She asked and pursed her lip.

"I can never think straight because of you. I hardly sleep and yet," I paused, I heaved, ran a hand through my hair, and probably scared the poor bug away. "I'm focused and wide awake with you."

"Is it crazy that I have the same problem?" She stared at me.

"That depends," I started. "Do you hate me or?" She laughed and a smile tugged at my lips.

"I don't hate you." She said but added nothing else.

"I don't hate you either," I said quietly and in a second we were both moving closer to each other. I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. I slipped my hand to the back of her neck, firm in my palm. She went up onto her toes and we collided into each other in a burst of ecstasy that never stopped.