I feel ten pounds lighter having been accepted by Raphael. I knew in some part of me that he would always be there for me but I haven't seen him in ten years so I wasn't going to put it past him if he chose not to. Especially not with his new life, his new family that all seem lovely if a little intimidating.
These people are the ones I've been warned off of since the day I was born, the 'supposed' criminals and what my father considered the 'scum of the Earth', I can't see a single thing that would give him that idea. I knew he was judgemental and I knew he was wrong in almost everything but I didn't know it went this far. These people are nothing like how I thought they would be.
In my ruffled, drowned form I feel extremely out of place. I'm so used to being well put together and now I've been introduced to fifty different people while looking like this, having cried in front of them and everything. I've never openly expressed emotion in public and I am incredibly embarrassed having done so.
It's a line that should never be crossed with unfamiliar people, no matter how upset you are. I've started off every relationship in the room on a bad foot and it puts me at a severe disadvantage.
Thankfully, after all the introductions are made, Raphael gets me out of here. His husband and son following behind us. "I'll take the truck, you alright to ride?" Raphael asks and Romeo just smiles, lifting Oliver into the cab of the truck.
I don't like the idea of him riding a bike in this abysmal weather but I figure I shouldn't tell him what to do considering I've never even seen a motorcycle up close in my life. I'm sure he knows what he's doing and Raphael would be more worried if he didn't.
Raphael - though I should start calling him Runner now - takes my bag and puts it in the bed of the truck before helping me into the cab. I would've done it myself but I probably would've slipped on the wet steps and I'm only 5′2 so the truck is a bit high for me.
The drive there is quiet with the soft hum of the radio and satisfied mumbles of Oliver as he makes the colours match on his Rubix cube. It's still heaving it down with rain and I find myself watching in the mirror for Romeo, I am on edge about it but he is riding calmly despite the weather and I find myself jealous of his confidence.
I wish I was confident in something, anything really. School has always been something that I'm good at but I hated every second of it and had to make myself get the grades my father wanted, is it confidence if you don't have any other choice?
You never realise how much you've been limited until you're out of the situation you were trapped in. I tried to make excuses for him at the beginning; that his parents instilled them in him, that he had a bad experience some time in his life, or something that would make it possible for a father to abuse his only daughter.
I've given up on that now.
The drive isn't very long and we pull up outside a beautiful house in a quiet neighbourhood. This is everything I've ever wanted for us, Raphael used to talk to us about it sometimes, that he didn't want to be a part of the extortionate wealth even before he was disowned.
Most of my divergent ideas probably stemmed from his, he was my idol when I was a child, the only solid person I had that stuck to what they wanted. He came out to me first, despite the age difference, he just burst into my room in the middle of the night and told me about his first kiss with a guy.
He literally climbed through my window with bright eyes and blushed cheeks and told me everything. I thought it was sweet and I was over the moon that he trusted me with a secret that later decimated his entire life. I can never thank him enough for everything he's done for me, even when he justifies it by saying I've done the same for him.
The inside of their house is gorgeous, the house of my dreams really, with soft paint colours and fabrics, and perfectly sized. "Wow."
"You're amazed by this?" Runner asks with a chuckle, obviously knowing the 'glorious' wealth I'm accustomed to. I never really got to tell him how much I hated it and he never saw the difficulties I went through, I never wanted to worry him.
Besides, I didn't know whether people would believe me because of the way my dad behaved in front of people, he was so lovely and caring and he called me 'darling', I loved him when he was like that.
"It's beautiful. You know I've always hated that estate, it's never been my style." He strokes my back and leads me through the house to the spare bedroom. It's simple, everything is a blush cream colour with white furniture and cotton bedding, the bathroom is a light grey with green tiles. "You got everything we ever wanted... I'm happy for you."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you remember when you climbed through my window after your night with Trey?" He nods with a grimace, "and we spoke for hours about how we just wanted a simple life. All we wanted was a loving husband, a warm house, and a few children that wouldn't grow up the way we did and look what you have. I saw the way you guys were at the clubhouse, that's your family and I am so happy that you got everything you wanted."
I squeeze his hands while he just looks at me, I probably freaked him out. "How long have they been treating you like this, Juni?" He looks worried about my answer and I have to look away so I don't freak out.
"I don't really remember when it started but I figure the day I was born. You know my parents only wanted a daughter to add me to my mother's work. My brothers got everything they ever wanted and could never do any wrong but I couldn't even smile properly in public without being called hysterical. I was privileged, I know that, but I was lacking in so much... I didn't realise it until you left. That's when it started getting bad, it was the same behaviour I had been experiencing for years but I knew that it was wrong by then.
I've been waiting to get out for years, saving and hiding and lying for years so that I could have this life." I gesture to the room and him, "I wasn't going to leave until next year until everything had been planned out to the final point but then the marriage was proposed and I could not stick around for that. I'm sorry I never told you but you were already worried enough about you and your sister and I didn't want to make your life any harder."
"Juni, you're free now. What makes you think you can't have this life? It took me years to find Romeo, even then he made it very hard for me in the beginning and I bought this house with the money I made from fighting. My life isn't perfect but it is a hell of a lot of fun." He winks at me and I laugh. "Have a bath, Juni, fight off the cold, and then get some sleep."
He kisses my head and leaves the room, allowing me to gain my bearings. I take my toiletries bag out and take one of my towels into the bathroom. I run a bath hot enough to make your skin red with my salts and oils just to make myself feel a little less awful.
Tomorrow I can worry about jobs and housing, tonight I can warm myself up and allow myself the smallest victory of escape.
YOU ARE READING
Rubble (Riders of Apollo #7)
Romance"That's Rubble." I tune back into the conversation, having missed the entire thing, I think introductions were made but I got bored so. "He's the biggest pain in the ass when his best friend isn't here so be warned." Saviour teases and my jaw drops...