Where You Belong :: junhao

WYB :: 05

blame my acads for corrupting my brain cells and ended up a chapters like these. . .

*minghao*

"you sure you can do it? pwede ako um-absent sa klase ko."

i shook my head signalling jeonghan hyung not to. "i can carry myself hyung. plus im already fine. i can make it by my own." i told him and smiled wholly for him to convince that i was already fine.

he heave a sighed in defeat. "okay. just. . call me if you need anything, okay?"

"hyung, you have to attend classes." i tapped his shoulder still wearing the smile on my face. "you cant always be there for anyone, hyung. . kailangan ka din ng sarili mo. huwag puro ibang tao."

he was about to argue about what i said when i pushed him out of my hospital room's door leaving him no choice but to attend his classes. he had been with me these past few days and i also noticed that he wasnt attending his classes properly. gusto nya kasi talaga palagi syang nandyan para sa lahat. . mostly to us, to his friends. he was always like that. . he was always there for anyone, but he cant be there for himself.

after he went out of my room, leaving me alone here, i started to tidying up my clothes and my other things. ngayon na yung labas ko sa hospital but i still need so much time to rest. our university psychiatrist also tasked me not to attend classes temporarily until i could gain back my consciousness mentally. hindi daw kasi naging madali yung ginawa ko para sa ibang estudyante. i was feeling ashamed of myself and would promise to reflect on my actions.

honestly, i, myself, i didnt know what comes into my mind that day that left me no choice but to commit suicide. there's this voice inside of me saying that it would be nice to jumped there and die than to feeling pain inside that slowly made you die. hindi naman ako ganong tao. i was always optimistic, but maybe. . those changed cause mingming changed me. . into worst of myself.

it took me half of an hour before i was done cleaning the room. i changed my clothes into casual one.. i mean, b&e plain white tee, a track pants then a pair of sneakers. i waited for my doctors call by playing some games on my phone. sasabihan daw kasi ako nung doctor kung anong oras ako lalabas. it was already past noon when the doctor came in and signalled me that i was finally discharged.

she escorted me to the cashier to pay my hospital bills using my mom's money na pinadala nya kahapon though i could pay it by my own. after paying, i bade my goodbyes to the doctors and nurse there. they became too friendly to me within those days so yeah. i called for a cab and said my destinations to him. i was replying to jeonghan hyung's messages while i was on the way. . this hyung really wants an update with everything i was doing.

once the cab halted on the wayside, i paid my fare and unload the car. i walked through the alleyways heading to my dorms lobby. the guards had seen me on the way so they rushed to me as they helped with my luggage. tinanong nila ko kung okay na daw ba ko, gusto ko sanang sabihin na hindi naman ako makakalabas ng ospital kung hindi pa ko okay diba? but i dont want to get in trouble so i told them that i was already fine. they didnt asked further until they walked me to my unit already.