Be My Baby Boy

A tangled web

Peter landed on the wall beside their condo window and hung there while each Wade got off him and in through their window. He followed, still feeling quite confused.

"So good to be home!" one Wade crooned, stretching his back with a pop.

The other Wade was already busy taking off the tattered remains of his Deadpool suit and Peter's eyes couldn't help but track each new patch of bare skin that was revealed to his eyes.

"Shower," Peter said faintly and practically ran into their bedroom for a change of clothes and then dashed into the bathroom. He closed the door firmly behind him.

"Huh," one Wade said, cocking his head. "Baby boy is nervous."

"Who wouldn't be in his shoes," the other Wade grunted. "I mean, look at us!" He pointed from the nearly naked Wade, pulling off a bright red duct tape in his leg to himself still incased in his burnt, torn and bullet hole riddled suit. "We're not exactly safe or sane, are we?"

"But Peter likes that," Wade said and the other Wade rolled his eyes. "Fine, we should give him some time to adjust."

"I'm not too keen on getting closer to you, either," the other Wade said, eyeing the first Wade's now naked scarred skin with distaste.

"This isn't about us! It's about baby boy. So park that attitude. We don't want to give Peter any reasons to end this."

"Fine then! Truce. For now. For baby boy."

By the time the bathroom door opened the two Wades were sitting on the sofa, both dressed in near identical sweat pants and t-shirts, with as much space between them as possible. One Wade was fiddling with his phone, the other was flicking through channels on their TV. "Never anything on," he grumbled and turned it off.

Peter stopped in front of them, wringing the bottom of his comfort sweater in his hands. "So how is this going to work?" He had been thinking nothing else in the shower, his mind going round and round. What was Aunt May going to think? Would mr Stark ever accept Wade, especially now that there were two of them? And what about sex??

"What?"

"This! Us! There's three of us now. One of me and two of you. Do you even remember us, I mean how it was with me and Wade?"

"Of course I remember," Left Wade said.

"How could I ever forget a single moment with you, baby boy?" Right Wade added.

"Like that morning I was making you pancakes and you couldn't keep your hands off me... Oh wait, that was most mornings," one Wade reminisced.

"And it was you who kissed me first--" the other Wade butted in.

"Right! And I didn't believe it, I thought I was hallucinating--"

"The voices were yelling at me I was going to ruin it when I kissed you back."

"But I didn't ruin it," one Wade sighed happily.

"You really really liked me!"

"But then we had sex and--"

"-- you took off your mask --"

"-- and you were so gorgeous, those big brown doe eyes --"

"-- but so young --"

"-- and you broke my heart and I had to leave--"

"Okay, okay," Peter interrupted hastily. "So you remember it all? And you love me still? Both of you? Each of you?"

"So much, baby boy," Right Wade said and crossed his heart.

"Never more than right now," Left Wade promised solemnly.