dear diary

I had to

(Janus pov)
I turn around in the soft bed I'm laying in feeling a sting of pain in the back of my head.
It feels like someone cut right through the back of my head and I groan in pain as it just gets more and more painful and my eyelids get heavy.
"I'm here baby" I hear my boyfriend say as he holds me tight.

"It hurts" I say softly opening my eyes to look at him, "I know" he says with tears in his eyes.
"I will protect you better next time" he smiles.
"Thank you" I say quietly back to him as the pain becomes more and more taking up all of my attention.

(Patton pov)

"Hi cutie" Logan giggles as he walks into the kitchen, "what are you making? It smells delicious" he kisses my cheek and grabs a cup of water.
"I found this cookie recipe online that I wanted to try so I'm giving it a shot" i smile and look at him.
"Cant wait to taste them" he laughs as he sits down on a chair in the kitchen.

"Logan?" I say after a bit of silence.
"Yes dear?"
"Do you believe in soul mates?"
It was a question I've been wanting to ask for rather a long time.
He slowly stands up and puts the cup down.
"I believe you are my soulmate" he whispers as he hugs me from behind.
I turn around and hug him properly as he starts kissing all over my face again.

I was giggling like crazy as he was softly pecking on my face with his even softer lips, he had both his hands around my waist holding
me down rather effectively.

"Are you okay Pat?" I hear a tired Virgil saying as he walks down the stairs.
"Yeah I'm good!" I shout back at him as Logan keeps kissing my face.

Virgil enters my room with messy hair and a oversized Disney shirt that he probably borrowed from Roman.
He looks at me and Logan and smiles,
"am I bothering?" He asks softly making Logan realize someone was there.
"No not at all kiddo" I giggle as Logan stop kissing me but doesn't let go.

My cheeks are still beet read and my glasses are not sitting straight on my round face.
"What do ya need?"
"Uh I was just wondering if Logan could drive me home so I could get some clothes. Bc Janus shouldn't drive" he says shyly as he swifts the weight of his body on his feet.
"Of course Virgil, are we leaving now?" Logan softly says as he kisses my forehead.

"If it'd work for you!" Virgil says and smiles.

"Drive safe!" I tell Logan as I kiss Virgils forhead,
Noticing Logans glare I walk up and kiss his lips.
"We'll see you soon Pat" Virgil says as he enters the door.
"Love you baby" Logan smiles even brighter as they leave.

I decide to make some soup for Janus and Remus and walk into the kitchen again.

(Logan pov)
We get into the car and Virgil tells me the address, as I start driving I notice his hands starting to fidget in his lap.
"Put on some music" I say and smile still keeping my eyes on the road.
"Okay, but you arent aloud to judge me" he remarks as he plugs his phone in
(idk what it's called sue me)

"Well, they encourage your
complete cooperation"
Virgil softly shifts in his seat as me mouths along to the song.
"Send you roses when they think
you need to smile"
"I cant control myself because I dont know how and they love me for it honestly, I'll be here for a while"

"So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff"
We both sing together
"Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough"
We look at each other smiling as we proceed to sing scream the rest of the song in the car.

"Here we are" I say and stop the car infront of a very small apartment building with about three floors, the walls look rusty and parts off it has fallen off. A window is completely covered in planks and another one is broken.
"Is this-" I start doubting whether this is actually where he lives
"Yes" he says quietly as we get out.
"Please dont mention this to the others" he says looking almost guilty and ashamed.
"I wont say a word." I assure him as we get inside and walk up the stairs.

He stops infront of a dark door on the second floor and opens it, inside the wall papers had started falling off, the floor seemed to be stained by something and the lamps didnt work. All the windows were covered as well which gave the entire apartment a dark look.
There was a tiny kitchen and a small living room with a very tiny and old tv that had been hit by something and the glass was completely shattered.

Virgil walks into another room which had a door laying on the ground seemingly ripped out of its hold, in the other room was a mattress and a pile of clothing as well as some papers laying around.
I didnt know what to say, I couldn't imagine living like this. He grabs all the stuff he needs as well as a toothbrush from the way to small bathroom and walks up to me.

With tears in his eyes he gives me a weak smile and says "I've got everything"
"Ready to go?" I say as I put my hand on his shoulder.
"Never been more ready" he says and wipes some tears. We walk out and back into the car as he's hugging his clothes as tight as he can.

The car ride home was quiet.
I didn't ask him to put on a song and he didn't seem to want to.
He was just staring out the window hugging the clothes with silent tears streaming down his face.
"Does this change the way you see me? Be honest" he asks as he looks at me.
"I'm just sad for you" I say making sure to watch my words.
"Please dont tell Roman, I dont know what hes gonna think off me" he says as tears continue down his cheeks.
"I won't say a word until you are ready" I assure him. "Does anyone else know?" I say softly.
"N-no" he stutters out looking at his lap.
"Alright, thank you for trusting me" I say looking at the smaller boy again.

"Please dont make me regret it"
"You won't"

We park the car and get out In our drive way, he looks at me and then hugs me tight.
Still slightly shaking.
"It's gonna be alright, You live here now" I say and gesture to the house.
"Yea, I do" he says and wipes his tears.

"Why have you been crying Virgil!?" Patton says sounding very worried as me and Virgil are getting out of our jackets and shoes.
"We were listening to sad music in the car" I say quickly. "Awh kiddo, listen to fun music next time" Patton says hugging Virgil completely swallowing the lie.
I hated lying, especially to Patton, but I had to. To protect Virgil.