Ro's Journal

Meeting Scrawny Butt

The first time I heard about Keefe (or as I like to call him, Scrawny Butt) was when my dad warned me that I might be going on a special bodyguard mission if "some elf" managed to beat him in a sparring match. I laughed when he told me that. After all, elves don't even battle train! Crazy right? Like what happens when their city gets attacked because of something THEY did? Are they really just going to hide behind their goblin bodyguards until the monster goes away or something? But anyways, it seemed like something I wouldn't even have to worry about. There's no way an elf could beat my dad. 

But just yesterday, an elf actually managed to beat my dad sparring by ripping off his earring right before my dad stabbed him for the third time. Kinda clever, I guess. But that doesn't change the fact that now I had a scrawny butt elf as my charge. Great.

 Also, he was one of the elves that flooded my city. Just amazing. When I met him, he was covered in blood and losing more fast. Not the best first meeting, to be honest. 

This cute-for-an-elf blondie girl was giving him those legendy flowers that cured the gnomes. I assumed that she was his girlfriend or something. 

Scrawny Butt, or Keefe I guess, was practically looking at her with hearts for eyes. Ever since my love life got horribly spoiled by none other than my DAD, I've been a little bit of a matchmaker. Those two were adorable. 

Apparently, their elf healer person is called El-something. Eldorf? Eldin? Elwon? I forget, but to me, it seemed like a really weird name. Almost makes Romhilda seem normal. But not quite. The name Romhilda sucks and no one is ever going to tell me different. If they want to live at least.

When we light leaped to the Elmo dude or whatever his name is he managed to fix up this Keefe guy pretty well, though Blondie girl still looked worried. And I learned that Elmo (or is it Elwin?) is just as wacky as his name. He had clothes with little flareadons on them (who does that?). 

I'm actually pretty sure his name is Elwin. And all wackiness aside, he has this stuff that melted off Keefe's skin! Which definitely put him on my good side. The ooze!! The stink!! I felt like I could really breathe for the first time in elf land. 

Plus, the elf land is WAY too sparkly. Like what are they trying to say? Is this supposed to be sparkle heaven or something? It's gross. I made sure to remind Keefie boi that he was crazy lucky to have me as a bodyguard. 

Bad news: I'll have to go to elf school with Keefe. Good news: he's a troublemaker just like me. This sparkly elf world will never be the same again.  

And side note: Looks like my matchmaking services may actually be needed. Blondie has a serious case of obliviousness and Keefie boi keeps flirting with her but since he makes everything either a snark remark or a complete joke she doesn't get that he's totally flirting with her. Also, Blondie can be fierce when she wants to be. She's mad at Keefe for trying to take over everything. So looks like poor Keefe isn't going to get any visits from her while he's on bed rest for a week.

 I kinda feel a teensy bit sorry for Keefe. He's a little clueless. And he obviously loves Sophie. He even has a nickname for her that no one else even uses. Adorable. Keefoster needs to happen already! I'll see if I can get any dirt on that while I'm stuck babysitting Keefe.

P.S. It seems Sophie has a crush on another elf. Some fancy, perfect one who has teal eyes. Keefe vents about it, but he wants her to be happy, no matter what. Ahh, love. Now to hide this journal...

A/N: Awwwww I love Ro. I know some people hate her because she makes snide remarks, but she can be sweet. That's my opinion, anyway.  Sorry this beginning chapter is short. If you liked it please please please with ripplefluffs and mallowmelt on top vote! And comment! And share! Also, this is my first fanfic so sorry if it's bad. That's it for now! Thanks for reading!