Living Again

Chapter 30

Jake's POV:

My hands clenched tighter on the steering wheel. I was angry and horrified but I was mostly angry. I was angry at her father, at her mother, but most of all, I was angry at myself.

Furious.

I had no idea what Cassie was going through.

None at all.

I got friendly with her just to, well, to be friends. She was always so alone. She had to go through hell and she didn't trust anyone. Even I had a hard time for her to open up, to trust me.

And I never knew.

She was trying to push me away and I got angry at her. I was angry for something so small. And she...

She was giving up then.

Losing hope.

I stopped the car. I hit the steering wheel a few times. When I was done, I rest my forehead on it, breathing deeply. I don't think I could drive while I was this angry.

"Jake?" I felt Cassie put a hand on my shoulder tentatively. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, my forehead still on the steering wheel. "Just...a little mad" I breathed out.

She removed her hand and rest it on her lap. "I shouldn't have said anything" she whispered.

I immediately sat up. "Don't say that! Of course you should've said anything! This is serious Cassie! You shouldn't have to put up with it" I said angrily. "You were...abused" I whispered the last word, my anger fizzling out as I ranted.

"He's my father" she said softly.

I scoffed. "You hated him Cassie, and you should. You just forgot about it because you've been manipulated by him. He's a monster and no way in hell is he a father. If he was, he wouldn't have done that" I told her.

"You don't understand. I don't hate him...not anymore"

"Why?!?" I asked.

"Nothing's going to happen if I hate him. It won't change anything. Besides, I don't want to be angry at him, like he's angry at me. I'm better than that" she explained. "Besides..." and then she proceeded to tell me about her dream of Anna. I listened because that was better than being alone in my thoughts.

"You must think I'm crazy..." She muttered when she finished her story.

I shook my head. "Not at all"

She smiled. "Anyway, where are we going?"

"That's the second time you asked" I focused back on the road.

"That's because you never answered. I deserve to know since we're playing hooky"

I took a left turn. "We're close anyway" The road was soon coming to a dead end. There was a small cabin at the end of it and a lake. I parked the car and turned to Cassie. "We're here"

We got out of the car and she headed straight to the lake. I followed her. She was gazing out at the water when I was beside her.

"Why did you bring me here?"

I looked up at the sky. "This was the property of my grandparents. My parents and I always come here during weekends when I was still a kid. I remember that I couldn't wait to jump into the water and swim till I was dead tired. My dad had to go to the water and drag me away because I didn't want to stop. We'd eat dinner out here by camp fire too. Of course, we stopped coming here as I grew up, but being here...it was one of the best moments in my life" I looked at Cassie. "You've been through a lot, and well..." I drifted off, rubbing the back of my neck with my right hand. I felt suddenly shy.

"What?" She prodded gently.

"If it helps...I thought that I'd share these moments with you to make up the bad moments" I looked away, feeling myself blush. What the hell am I saying?

It was painstakingly silent for three minutes.

"Thank you. This is enough" Cassie said softly, breaking the silence.

"It's nothing" I said awkwardly.

She grabbed my hand. I looked down at her. "No...it's everything" she looked at me, tears silently streaming down her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We stayed at the cabin until noon. We drove to a nearby diner for lunch.

"Where are we going next?" Cassie asked, taking a bite of her burger.

"Well, what do you want to do?" I stole one of her fries, earning a half-hearted glare from her that made me laugh.

"What?" she asked, confused.

I took a sip of my soda. "You're... different" I told her. She raised an eyebrow. "It's like...how do I explain this.." I stole another one of her fries that earned me another glare. "You don't have any barriers" I explained.

She chewed thoughtfully, finishing her burger. "I guess I've changed a little" she agreed.

"For the better" I told her and it was true. She wasn't so withdrawn anymore. She was smiling and isn't so wary. But there was still something that worries me.

Her father.

And I can't do anything about it.