Dreams

9

Not too long later, and with the dust of graphite and colored pencils around him, there was a mermaid on the paper, with a pretty pink tail, and a bubbly smile on her face.

To normal people, this looked innocuous. It was just a nice mermaid girl, like you'd see in a coloring book or something.

But to him, it was porn. And it was powerful. It was a representation of him as a girl.

It excited him so much, that despite wanting to savor it, he decided he needed to cum.

That feeling of finally being able to release after all this time was amazing. He hardly broke a sweat it was so easy.

Before, during the last stint of time where he'd masturbated a lot, he had run himself raw, making himself feel tired, ashamed, and broken after doing it. This time however, it was sweet relief.

He felt bad of course. But he would get back on the straight and narrow soon. Just... just after he gave himself a breather.

People had told him this would be a process, right? That he'd have ups and downs and that he shouldn't overextend himself?

Kevin took a careful picture of his nice drawing, and posted it on Deviantart. He captioned it "Me as a mermaid." Then he imagined up a scenario to explain why he'd drawn it.

Some friend had dared him or something. Yes. That would work. He submitted the artwork.

His libido depleted for now, he closed Deviantart and discord, and went back to normal browsing of social media.

Soon, as it began to be late, he closed up his phone and readied for bed. He felt a prodding in his mind. He should pray. And read the scriptures. But he'd just barely given in. Doing anything spiritual after that... It felt... wrong.

He would get back on his proper nightly routine tomorrow. Maybe he'd masturbate in the morning, or something.

But as Kevin lay in his bed, in the dark, he had the realization that it would not be nearly so easy.