Dreams

14

When Kevin got home, and his body realized that it could rest, he felt the full force of his little aches he'd developed from work hit him.

As he got ready to get in the shower, he felt the desire to masturbate come. In the state he was in, he actually somewhat welcomed it. He desired a freedom from his present terror.

When he got in the shower, he saw his razor and shaving cream in the corner. A thought came into his mind. A curiosity. He began to wonder what it would feel like if he shaved. Not just his face, which was already clean shaven.

But if he shaved off everything. All his body hair. Including his gross mop of pubic hair.

There had been a few times with guys that he'd been talking, and some of them had been aghast that he'd never trimmed it.

Kevin stared at the razor for a solid minute before he finally gave in. Then once he did, he began to grow in excitement with the curiosity of this experience.

It was gross, as he shaved it. He had to keep cleaning out the razor after every stroke. Minutes passed, and soon, he saw patches of skin he hadn't seen bare in nearly ten years.

But as he began to work on the area surrounding his pubic region, he began to feel pain set in. Although he had shaved much of it off, it was still pockmarked with hair follicles. Then there was all the whispy hair that was on his scrotum that was too dangerous to try to shave.

It all was a rough mess. Not some pretty clean shave, but reality. Shaving his body would not give him girly, feminine legs, and soft skin, but stubble.

Running his hand down his groin, it did feel strangely smooth. However, running it up met with the slight pricks of the individual hairs, still very much implanted in the skin.

This had not been his erotic fiction. He did not feel feminine, just deprived of his masculinity. He had harmed himself in such a small way, but it still felt horrible.

While his work around his groin felt unsatisfying, he made a discovery. He had done some work on his other end, and now, lubricated by the water, his butt crack felt smooth, and softer.

He... he imagined that it was almost like... a girl's parts.

Kevin's penis began to erect. He eagerly began to stroke it. He felt at his pseudo-vagina more. Imagining... imagining it being filled.

And tentatively, against his better judgement, Kevin inserted a finger inside, and began pushing deep.

His penis seemed to be getting harder and harder. Yes, yes, this was what he wanted!

He knew that somehow, something back there would make him cum super hard, or so he had read. However, either his finger wasn't long enough, he didn't know where to find it, or his butt wasn't conditioned to have something stuck inside of it.

He pulled out his finger, and immediately felt a burning like he'd get after a bad visit to the bathroom. That had been a horrible mistake. He groaned in pain as he rinsed off his finger, even though there was nothing on it.

His erection was fading, and he felt the unsatisfaction weigh down on him. He got into a new position at the back of the shower, and began masturbating normally.

Kevin felt ashamed. Like transgender stuff, he didn't exactly agree with homosexuality. But it was very much arousing him. He wanted to give in to it.

So he did. He let himself fully imagine a man inserting his penis into his "man-vagina" and completely enjoying it. As his fantasy evolved he imagined that he was wearing girly underwear, and long hair.

His libido built up really quickly, and he was finally able to cum. The release felt wonderful, but as always, was followed with negative thoughts and emotions.

He had fully allowed homosexual thoughts into his mind. He had used them to arouse himself, and masturbate. Did this mean he was gay? Or was this all just part of his fetish, only arousing him because it increased the feeling of feminimity?

Kevin had never been aroused thinking of boys. But then again, he had never been much aroused by girls either.

But that may have been because rather than looking at nude girls, like a normal teenage boy, he had looked at furries, mermaids, and boys turning into girls.

Kevin had messed up his mind. He had allowed Satan to drag him down another step. Another step towards hell.