Love Is Messy, Love Is Sweet

Chapter 19

Much to my despair, after my numerous attempts of calling Lucas and sending multiple, "I'm sorry!" texts like the pitiful brokenhearted girlfriends do, he never responded. It left a gaping black hole in my heart and I had given up and lost all hope that I could win him back.

I found myself once again eating my weight in cookies alone in my apartment on Christmas Eve, sulking as I watched The Holiday on tv. Slumping into an even further depression watching Jude Law as a swoon-worthy single father to two adorable little girls. I threw the mound of blankets off my body and almost dropped the plate of cookies on the floor when I heard my always dead silent phone ringing, praying it was finally Lucas willing to give me another chance.

"Hello!" I answered without even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Sydney!"

"Oh, hey mom," the excitement in my voice faded and I dropped back down to my couch.

"Sydney honey, I haven't heard from you in such a long time! I was worried if you were alright."

"I'm sorry, I've just been really busy."

"Well, you should be! I had to call your father and ask him if he heard from you," she said with a sassy tone and I rolled my eyes at her over the phone, already talking negatively about my dad.

"You guys can't even get along over the phone thousands of miles away from each other?" I let out a non-subtle huff.

"How am I ever supposed to get married if you two can't even get along over the phone, never mind in the same room!"

"Are you getting married? Did Pierre propose?" She got all giddy and excited.

"No, we broke up," I said nonchalantly.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. Then...why are you talking about getting married?" sounding confused and I can see why.

"I don't know. Never mind...I probably never will anyways," I said, sounding morbidly depressed.

"Well you've always said you never wanted to get married but now that you're bringing it up, something must have changed. Have you met someone else?"

"It's complicated, mom." I tried to avoid where this conversation was going.

"Why do you shy away from every relationship you've had, honey?"

"Are you serious! I only grew up with two parents hating each other!"

"I do not hate your father, Sydney!" she defended herself right from the jump but let out a sigh when she heard my radio silence on the other end.

"Look, your father and I...I don't even know where to start. We were together since high school! We know every single thing there is to know about each other. The good, the bad, the buttons to push. And we had you when we were young. Maybe too young and felt forced to get married but there will always be a part of me that loves your father. We just...weren't very good at communicating with each other and that was our downfall. And I know that made things terrible for you growing up and for that I am so so sorry."

She let out a sigh with sorrow in her voice. "But Sydney, I think that made you who you are. It made you stronger than anyone else I know. You don't let anything stop you and I know that because of your father and I, you know what Not to do. When you find the right person you want to spend your life with, I know you'll fight for them and you won't let what happened to your father and I happen to you." She said lovingly and hopeful.

"I already messed it up," I whispered over the phone, shaking my head in despair again. "He won't even talk to me."

"And when has that ever stopped you from getting your point across to someone? If they don't listen, you make them listen."