bts x jungkook oneshots <3

⚠️you could be happy - taekook (xmas special)

-graphic descriptions of suicide/general unhappy themes
-mentions of vomit

happy ending tho bc it's christmas 💚❤️

x

it's cold.

of course it's cold - it's the fifteenth of december, it was always going to be cold.

jungkook dragged himself round the department store - cheesy christmas music blasting into his ears. it's the first time he has made it out of the apartment all week. he knew that he had to get taehyung's christmas present before rent was due - which was tomorrow. his boyfriend had expensive taste, but every year insisted that "having jungkook was enough" the boy adds up the costs of the few items in his hands, he has just enough to purchase the pricey gifts for the only person he loves. it's worth it, to see tae smile.

jungkook hopes he'll get to see taehyung smile this year.

you see, the last few months have beaten and broken the boy. jungkook has days left in him, at most.

he has no physical conditions (unless you count being allergic to flowers) instead jungkook's battles all happen inside his mind, which actually might make it worse.

he's struggled with his mental health since he was a teenager. he has spells of up and down, high and low, slow and fast.

since september, it's just been going down, down, down. some nights he just sobs until his throat is raw. taehyung cuddles him into is chest and soothes him as well as he can, jungkook never speaks - everytime he wants to bring up how he feels his mouth goes dry and his heart beats faster than normal. he's been bottling it up for months and it's slowly killing the couple. the older boy says he will always be there for jungkook, no matter what - he loves him with his whole heart. and jungkook is head over heels for tae, their relationship is one to he envious of. jungkook is just hurting and taehyung is terrified he is going to lose his angel.

he's well aware that his boyfriend is suicidal. he's done everything he can, he's sent him to therapy, tried countless medications and bandaged his cuts when he loses control. jungkook will always be grateful for taehyung. he's the only reason jungkook is still alive. but it's getting harder and harder to hang on. does tae really need him? or can jungkook just let go?

the apartment isn't any warmer than outside. taehyung will be back in just over hour, so jungkook mopes his way to the shower - he barely manages to rinse himself before sinking down, staring blankly at the tiled walls. he's numb, he feels nothing but the sting on his arms. the water sprays down on him but he blocks it out. before he realises it, his eyes are falling shut.

x

"jungkookie!"

"i'm in here." jungkook mumbles, he managed to crawl out of the shower and is sitting on the bathroom floor. he shivers and shakes as he sits there naked. taehyung lets himself in, the pair have a rule where they don't lock doors, just to be on the safe side. he sighs at the state of his boyfriend . "babe, you're gonna catch a cold. come here."

tae holds out a fluffy warm towel and wraps jungkook in it. he pats him down gently before leading him into the bedroom. he hands him clothes to wear and gently towels his messy hair before trying it up in an little pony tail, the way jungkook likes it. he kisses his forehead and stares into his glassy, fogged up eyes. jungkook is crying.

"oh sweetheart."

the older boy rocks jungkook into his chest and jungkook's cries pick up, it doesn't go anywhere drastic and ends before it really starts. jungkook falls asleep again, as usual. leaving taehyung alone. he misses his happy boy. he wants him back before it's too late. out of sheer panic he hides all the medicine from the cabinet. ten days until christmas, please hang in there angel.