bts x jungkook oneshots <3

⚠️nothing works - jungkook solo

hi everyone, happy belated new years!

i hope 2024 is treating you all well. i've unfortunately been unwell for about a month now and have been dealing with a lot of issues at home so apologies for lack of updates. i was thinking about you all the time i promise haha.

i debated wether or not to post this because i don't want anyone to see this as a list of "tips" of what to do. this is what NOT to do. don't hurt yourself. please - it's not worth it; coming from a boy who's done it all.

content warnings // suicide, self harm, drug abuse, smoking etc

DISCLAIMER
everything i talk about here is fiction and nothing should be copied. don't do anything i talk about here, if you are feeling like this please seek help. these are extremely unhealthy views and coping mechanisms and i am in no way promoting them. please understand this story is written for entertainment and not to endorse harmful ways of living. i'll leave some helpful websites for those who are struggling at the end.

read at your own risk. be safe please.

chapter one : stop self harming

one month clean

one month since jungkook stopped taking all of his feelings out on his wrists. the cuts have healed now and all that's left is the scars that decorate his pale arms.

self harming became a ritual of sorts. something he would do at the end of the day, not something he looked forward to or enjoyed - but something that must be done ; like brushing your teeth or setting your alarm for tomorrow. mundane. unimportant.

making the decision to stop wasn't easy, but it had to be done. he'd ran out of hoodies to wear and was sick of buying bandages. it wasn't that hard to stop to be honest. but it's definitely been hard to keep going.

the big question is, did it work? is he better?

no. he's as sad as ever and now has no way of regulating his emotions.

nothing works.

chapter two : quit smoking.

smoking is an ugly habit.

it's in no way cool like how they portray it in movies. it's embarrassing having to crouch underneath the only sheltered area behind his work, fiddling with a lighter, trying not to burn his fingers in the process. it's never something he wanted to do. but you have one cig on a night out and two weeks later you're an addict. like self harming, this is something he knew he had to quit. he'd contemplated it for a while, but always thought it wasn't worth the (literal) headache. however when his card declined trying to buy dinner and a packet of fags and he decided to go with the fags, he knew he had to make a change.

tried cold turkey, that didn't work.

obviously.

tried used an e-cigarette. now that's a whole other can of worms. better to stop that before it becomes a part of the problem and not the solution.

so he went down the traditional route of patches and pouches. and that worked, sort of.

so now he doesn't self harm AND doesn't smoke.

after three weeks without nicotine he feels positively rubbish. even worse than when he did smoke. for fuck sake.

did it work?

of course it didn't.

nothing works.

chapter three : go to the gym and eat healthily.

getting up at five am to go to the gym was a brand new experience for jungkook.

and not one he enjoyed.

swapping his red bull for a smoothie made him feel like a pretentious idiot. and instant noodles for salad? awful. he'd much rather have spots and no energy.

his arms ached after one day and all he could think about was a big fat chocolate bar. this has to be the worst one of all.

nothings new.

nothing works.

chapter four : overwork yourself.

you need me to work for nine days straight? sure no problem. ten hour shifts everyday? no breaks? yeah that's no worries. you need someone to cover jimin's shift on friday? my only day off? see you there.

at least his pay will be good. a nice big pay check for him to spend on useless things that won't make him happy. rent. bills. food. bus fairs. painkillers. it's shit being an adult.

overworking isn't working.

because nothing works.

chapter five : drugs.

no. absolutely not. he doesn't need more problems.

this definitely will not work.

nothing

works.

chapter six : isolation.

nothing like being in the comfort of your own bed, for days on end. only getting up for the bathroom. phone hidden in the wardrobe. it was on silent, but it will be dead by now. funny.

he can't imagine the amount of missed calls from his manager, mum and girlfriend he'll have when he eventually turns it back on. but that's okay - that's the fun of disappearing for a little while, it's like playing dead - getting a glimpse of what life will be like when you're gone without having to actually go the full monty. it's peaceful, but it's also cripplingly bleak. days and days of nothing. nothing nothing.

nothing works.

chapter seven : the end.

paracetamol is wonderful. two pills can take away your pain for a few hours, thirty can take them away forever. lying in bed - staring at the ceiling - waiting to close his eyes for one last time. the first time in weeks he's been excited.

he finally closes his eyes and a breath gently leaves his lips. freedom at last.

x

his eyes jerk open and he suddenly feels the need to vomit, as he runs to the bathroom he makes eye contact with himself in the mirror.

it didn't work.

nothing works.

-end-

https://findahelpline.com

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/get-help

i wrote this after listening to declan mckenna's new album, if you're into that kinda thing please consider giving it a listen! one of the best albums i've heard in a long time.

thanks for reading. take care of yourselves.

ej.

1010 wordz