What happens when your best friend tricks you into unwittingly submitting a successful audition tape for hot new reality dating show 'Enlisted'? For Mia Benson, the answer is contemplate friend-icide, at least until she catches wind of the $10,000-p...
Week two of Enlisted consists of dates. Lots and lots of dates. Nine guys remain, so over the course of four days, I have nine dates. Nine. Nine televised dates.
Could be worse. The guys have ten, one with each woman left on set.
For the masterminds behind a show with a unique premise, the producers didn't channel all that much creativity into the date ideas. Every single one involves a meal and nothing else. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner, all in various places around the Enlisted property. To be fair, we do have amazing chefs on set, but I was expecting something semi-interesting, you know?
I just have to remind myself that beggars such as myself can't be choosers and enjoy the free food while it lasts.
Sunday night, when Sarah doled out the schedules, my first thoughts were, of course, about Max. First, How the heck did he know about our Wednesday date ahead of time? Second, Do I really have to wait until Wednesday at noon?
As you can probably guess, thought number three was a severe scolding aimed at myself.
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Breakfast dates begin at eight o'clock sharp, which means we have to report to our stylists at six. I'm not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be. Forcing my booty out of bed at 5:45 a.m. three days in one week is akin to torture.
I showed up to my Monday pancake breakfast with bags under my eyes even Devin couldn't fix.
Not that I cared. Ethan talked about Evelyn nearly the entire time, so in the wise words of Randy Jackson from American Idol, it was a no from me, dawg. Jake, my Monday dinner date, was cute and sweet, but he chewed louder than a dumb cow, so his chances of earning a spot on my list disappeared with the appetizers.
Julian seemed nervous during our Tuesday breakfast date, probably because he thought I'd bring up the whole making out with Claire thing, since I'm obviously #TeamMaddie. He was wrong. If I'm going to bitch out a guy on my friend's behalf, I won't initiate the altercation underneath a boom mic.
He barely carried our conversation, so I kept pulling topics out of thin air. We briefly talked about the weather. At one point, I asked if Arizona has any sports teams. They do, apparently, but that discussion didn't even last five minutes, so I don't recall any of them. Zero chance the encounter makes it into the ninety precious minutes of Enlisted airtime.
At lunch, Levi and I bonded over not eating red meat when we asked the chefs if they had anything besides burgers on hand. I like to think of it as my first, and hopefully last, reality TV diva moment. Anyway, I'm a Levi fan. He's talkative, outdoorsy, and smart as a whip. Definitely Maddie's type. She just about knocked down my door after and demanded details on everything we talked about. I think it's safe to say she's over Julian.
In case you're wondering, I'm also #TeamLevi or, as Noelle dubbed them, #TeamLaddie.
As crazy as the past thirty-six hours have been, I'm loving this packed schedule. I barely have time to think about Max when my days consist of dating, digesting, and repeating. I haven't even ventured outside the villa for anything besides dates.
