Reality Check

21. Masks

"You're what?" I exclaim.

"In love with you," Max replies casually, as if I asked him the weather.

"How? Why? No, you can't... We just met. We're not even together," I splutter.

"You want to be."

Do I? "I—"

Someone knocks on the door three times. "Fuck," I grumble. Then, I hiss, "Bathroom!" to Max. I really don't need the other contestants to know we're hanging out behind a closed door.

Namely the contestant who's knocking.

"Hey, Elijah."

"Hi, Mia. Can I come in?"

"Um, I'm not really feeling well," I lie. Actually, I retract that statement. I'm not lying. My brain is all kinds of fucked-up right now.

"Okay. I'm, uh... I'm really sorry if that has anything to do with me. I shouldn't have—you know what, I'll let you get some rest and we can talk tomorrow morning. Would that be alright?"

"Yeah, no, it's not you. Just one of those nights, you know? That sounds good. I'll see you in the morning," I ramble.

Elijah kisses me softly on the forehead and turns away. Because I'm somewhat paranoid, I wait until he reaches the staircase before I close the door. I don't want him to overhear me talking to someone. I really don't want him to know that Max just professed his love for me and doesn't look like he's going to stop any time soon.

The second the door clicks shut, Max is back on my bed.

"How can you love me?" I whisper. "We just met, Max."

"I fell in love with you when I watched your audition tapes."

"You hadn't even met me yet," I exclaim in a sort-of-whisper.

"I didn't need to."

"Meeting someone is kind of a prerequisite for falling in love." Still exclaiming, still sort of whispering.

"I disagree."

I sigh and rest my head in my hands. How is it that I've been on this show for three weeks and I've already flip-flopped at least five times? And now someone is declaring their love for me? To think, I just came here for the cash.

"If the producers hadn't changed your list, we would be together now," Max adds.

He has a point, but that doesn't make what Elijah and I have any less special. But then there's the kids thing... I don't want to be a mother. I'd resent the kids, resent my husband... I'd be worse than my dad. He found greener grass. I'd see dirt everywhere.

I can't be with Max just because Elijah and I aren't compatible down the line, but is that why I'm leaning towards Max?

Shit, am I leaning towards Max?

"Do you want to know how I'm certain I love you?"

"How?" I croak.

"You're with another guy. I've seen you with him. I've heard you fuck him God knows how many times. Hell, I'm telling you how much I love you, and you can't even make up your mind between us. Despite all that, I'm still here. Any rational person would have left already, but I can't. I can't leave you, Mia, because I love you."

Max's sharp features soften when he's sad. Like me, he wears a mask, and like me, he removes it for very few people.

He removed it for me.

And I removed mine for him.

I don't know if that's love. I don't know if it's the beginning of a lasting, healthy relationship. I do know that right now, it means the only person for me is Max Vaughn.