Reality Check

3. Famous Like Snoopy

Noelle, Maddie, and I are assigned the same coach, Harper. She looks around our age, but I want to be her when I grow up. Harper doesn't have so much as a wisp of frizz, her sundress is the perfect mix of cute and classy, and, most importantly, she's really freaking nice.

"Before we start, I need to take your phones and any other devices you brought with you. Sorry, fam." She pouts. "Show rules."

"What?!" I gasp.

"Sarah didn't tell you that you aren't allowed phones on set?"

"She did," Noelle says quickly. "Mia and I were just jetlagged yesterday. Must have missed it."

"Oh, good," Harper replies. "Do you need to call anyone before we start? We can hold off a few minutes if you need to let anyone know."

I should probably inform Mom that I'm going to be MIA—Mia going MIA, how fitting—for an indefinite length of time and that her friends might see me on TV. Mom won't because she never watches TV, but her squad has a couple reality TV junkies, so it's kind of inevitable that every last person in my tiny Nebraska hometown will find out what Mia Benson's been up to soon enough.

"I'll be back," I tell them before booking it into the bathroom, which is surprisingly spacious for a trailer. Harper must be important around here.

Mom answers on the first ring, as per usual. "Hello, dear!"

"Hey, Mom. How are you?" I hope she's doing well, because her mood is about to get a whole lot worse. Better to start high and go down from there, you know?

"Fantastic! I'm heading to Nancy's for book club in a few minutes. We're reading a murder mystery. I can't remember what it's called, but I think you'd like it. How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm alright. Are you sitting down? I kind of have some big news."

She gasps. "How far along are you?"

Whenever I tell Mom that I have news, she assumes I'm pregnant. I don't know why. I remind her about my IUD every time she jumps to that conclusion. Maybe because she had me young she figures I'm destined for the same.

"No babies, Mom. IUD's still in. Actually, I'm going on TV."

"When? What channel? I'll have to download cable again if it's not Netflix. Joanne signed me up for the free trial a few months ago and I can't figure out how to cancel, but if that's where you'll be..."

I don't bother to tell her that you can't download cable. That explanation would triple the length of this phone call, and Harper's already waiting long enough. Mom isn't the most technologically savvy.

"It's not on Netflix. It's a reality show, and we're not allowed to bring our phones, so I won't be able to talk for a little while."

"Are you in New Jersey with Snoopy?"

She means Snookie from Jersey Shore. "No, it's a different show. It's called Enlisted. I don't think you'd like it. It's kind of a dating show."

"Mia!"

"I know. Noelle signed me up. I wasn't going to, but it pays really well..."

"Is this really something you want to do? I think you'd be better off moving to Lincoln for a year or two, just to get back on your feet and some more experience under your belt. I can ask the ladies—"

"No, please don't." Mom is forever trying to ask her book club to find me employment in Nebraska. I might be a failure in New York, but I really, really don't want to move back home, even if it's to a city. "I'll be fine. I won't do anything crazy, promise."