Reality Check

19. Coming Soon to a DSM Near You

"I need you to carry me to breakfast," I whine.

My first mission went semi-well. By round three, Elijah chose the positions. His dirty talk, which made an appearance towards the end of round two, is more like compliments, which I kind of really like.

Mission number two was a resounding success. He really did fuck my brains out. We had sex four times last night and twice this morning.

Hence why I need him to carry me downstairs. Walking is painful.

"Can do," he says, pride more than evident in his voice. "Can't say the guys won't give me a round of applause. Although..." He trails off, smirking. "They might give me one even if you're walking. I got a couple high-fives when I grabbed coffee."

I sigh. Growing up, Mom always told me I need to work on my indoor voice. It took a while, but by the end of middle school, I got the hang of talking at a reasonable volume. I have yet to master its application to sex.

"You earned them," I mutter.

Between rounds, we did a lot of talking. We've had a connection since we met, but we haven't really learned the basics about each other yet. To be honest, I kind of forgot what he said during his introduction and didn't want to offend him by asking. Maddie didn't remember either, so last night, I asked a bunch of vague questions related to his background, and he filled in the many blanks. When you have ADHD, you get really good at finding ways to request information you should already know.

In case you're wondering, much like I was, Elijah Kane Miller was born and raised in Philadelphia (cue Fresh Prince theme song), studied journalism at Arizona State University, and moved to Seattle after graduation. He has two younger sisters, Lucy and Isla. His mom's name is Margot. I forget his dad's, but it was something manly, which doesn't really narrow it down. The Millers are all incredibly close, and Elijah is thinking of moving back to the east coast soon.

His friends convinced him to audition for Enlisted after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, Riley. They were together for four years, but she got a job offer in London and Elijah didn't want to move out of the country. It was an amicable split.

In summary, Elijah is very wholesome and also a sex and foreplay god.

"Ready? They want us at the cabana in an hour, and as hot as you look in my clothes, I don't think Reality Network will approve of the I-got-laid fashion statement."

"Good point." For short segments like our Sunday debriefs, Enlisted's stylists aren't available to make us pretty. We're on our own. Maddie lent me the hairdryer she's been keeping in Levi's room, so I don't have wild sex hair or anything, but Elijah's clothes are about ten sizes too large.

I manage to walk—and by walk, I mean waddle—down the stairs on my own.

"Have a good night, Mia?" Levi asks, smirking.

Hunter, new guy Finn, and Julian are staring. The only person avoiding my eyes is Max, who's eating a silent breakfast with a pissed-looking Adriana.

"Five stars on Yelp," Elijah says. Pun definitely intended there.

I feel my face going red. "Yes. I get very competitive in chess, so that was the source of all that ruckus."

"Interesting, I've never played contact chess before," Finn comments.

"Or any contact sport where you want the opponent to hit you harder," Levi chimes in.

"What's for—oh, look, French toast!" I exclaim.

I shovel down some French toast, grab a banana for the road, and waddle off to the turquoise villa. I settle on a magenta romper and light makeup. I always feel strange getting glammed up for the short segments. I know I should look good on camera, but it just feels ingenuine to spend an hour on hair and makeup for an event that lasts fifteen minutes. I don't know. I'm weird.