Found (BxB)

CHAPTER 17

Kaden left me at my house after an hour, giving me a quick peck on the lips before I left his car, what made me feel all giddy inside while I entered my home. I was smiling like a fool, and my feet were dancing at the sound of the song I was humming.

When I entered the living room, I found my mom sitting on the couch, looking down at her phone in her hands. My siblings were nowhere to be seen, so I guessed Jonathan was in his room, and maybe Allie and Casey had left to meet some friends. My father also wasn't here, probably stuck in work.

"Hey, mom" I greeted her "What are you doing?" I approached her and tossed my arms around her shoulders, hugging her.

"Hey honey" She said "Did you know Will has a sinner cousin?"

I finally looked down at her phone she was looking so intently, and gulped when saw that Will's mother had posted a picture of her nephew's marriage. It was one of the pictures Will had showed me. His cousin was kissing his husband under a beautiful arch full of flowers. They looked happy and in love.

The text of Will's mother was simple: Proud of you. Hope you have a long, happy and lovely life together. I'm by your side no matter what.

I wished my mom was able to say those same things to me, but she was looking at the post with disgust written on her face. My grip around her loosened and I was met with a feeling I didn't have during the day: fear.

A rush of memories passed through my mind: the first time my mom told me I shouldn't like boys, rough nights when I couldn't sleep, the day I made that list, the days I cried hidden, the day I broke down in front of Jonathan for the first time, the day I held hands with Kaden and freaked out, the day Kaden found me crying in the rain. My mind was frightened with feelings of pain and oppression that I was starting to forget over the days.

And my mind kept playing memories. All the times I smiled and laughed because of Kaden, all the times I blushed, all the times he comforted me, all the times I felt happy, all the times I felt free, every research I had done about homosexuality, every post I had seen about the LGBTQ+ community, and those memories brought me to today. When I kissed Kaden, when I hugged him, when I held hands with him. When everything seemed just right. When I didn't feel chained by my sexuality, or wrong, or terrified. When I let myself be embraced by Kaden, and embraced myself as well. At least for a moment. A moment where I felt happy, free, right, and myself for the first time in eight years. A moment where I accepted myself.

But now, far from Kaden, it was hard to remember the good memories and easier to remember the bad ones. I wasn't at rock bottom like before, but I wasn't completely confident and acceptive towards myself either. It was progress. But hearing my mom calling a person who is gay a sinner made my stomach twitch, bringing back very unpleasant memories above all the others.

"Um... ye-yeah"

She finally turned around to face me, making my arms fall over the couch at the harsh movement. Her eyes were flaming and reminded me of how she faced me when I was nine years old and told her I liked boys, though she seemed even angrier this time.

"And why are you still friends with him?"

"W-what?"

"Why are you still friends with him?" She repeated more firmly "I don't want you hanging out with those sinners. They can contaminate you, and you were almost contaminated once" Her voice fell into a whisper in the last part. If that was so no one in the house could hear or because it was hard for her to say, I wouldn't know. Maybe both.

It's not a disease, a voice whispered in my head. But it was too weak for me to say it out loud. It's not a sin, it's just love, the voice continued on whispering, and I closed my eyes to focus on it instead of on the flaming eyes of my mother.