Found (BxB)

CHAPTER 2

TRIGGER WARNING: Use of homophobic slur
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Apparently, my friends and my brother thought that introducing Kaden to our group was an excellent idea. He got on the team (surprise, surprise) and now they insisted that he hung out with us all the damn time.

I tried my best to avoid him. I never glanced at him, but noticed that he glanced at me all the time. Sometimes he kept his gaze on me for seconds and when I caught him, he didn't even avert his eyes from me. He just smiled. Always. And I looked away.

It was the third week of school. He started hanging out with us on the second week, and unfortunately the guys liked him a lot. So yeah, he was a keeper on our group. And my only 'communication' with him went like that: He stares at me, I catch him staring, he smiles, I look away.

He didn't know that, but his glances made me feel an awful person. Every time his eyes were on me, I felt that wrong feeling. I shivered. My heart squeezed. I felt hot. I was nervous all the time I was around him. My hands were already beginning to have permanent moon marks because my nails wouldn't stop digging them.

And every day I felt less normal and more wrong. It's harder to act when he's around. Before, I acted like a robot. It was easy pretend. Now I had to put some effort, what made things more exhausting than they already were. But I could do it. I smiled at my friends. I laughed at their jokes. I was nice and looked happy. It was exactly what I needed.

"Did you guys hear the news about Mason Evans?" Jack leaned over the table and asked us in a whisper.

We were at lunch. All of us were sitting in a table and were eating. For once, Kaden's eyes were on his cousin, and I could breathe easier just because of that.

"What news?" Jimmy asked with his mouth full of food, making me cringe.

Jack leaned over even more, like he was about to tell us the world's biggest secret.

"He is a fag" He said and started to laugh.

Every part of my body tensed at this and I had to close my hands in fists so no one could see that they were shaking. I could already feel the moons growing deeper. I didn't know what bothered me the most. The fact that he thought that someone being gay was a reason to laugh. The fact that he told us like he was sharing a sin. Or that word. God, I hated that word.

I heard laughs and realized that I had to laugh too. It was never so hard to fake a laugh. I pulled the corner of my lips up, showed my teeth, open my mouth slightly, made a noise with my throat that remembered a laugh and shook my body a little. And while I did it, I hated every fiber of my body. I hated every fiber of myself.

"Hm" A sound of surprised came out of Kaden's mouth.

We all looked over at him, still laughing, and I realized that he wasn't laughing. He seemed to be thinking about something.

"What?" Jack asked, trying to control his own laugh.

Kaden shrugged.

"I just didn't know you guys were homophobes"

And everyone's smiles dropped. I was glad they did, because I could stop it too. Mentally, I thanked Kaden. Not only for making them stop, but because he didn't thought it was a reason to laugh. He wasn't a homophobe. And I felt more relieved than I thought I could be with someone not being against gay people.

"I'm not" Andrew defended himself "I think everyone can live whatever lives they want to live. That's not on me".

I looked over at Jonathan. I wanted to know what he thought. I couldn't see exactly which one of my friends laughed. I just heard laughter, and knew that if I laughed, it would be less suspicious.