Found (BxB)

CHAPTER 12

Everyone of the team stared at me because of my breakdown, but no one dared to say a word. Well, Andrew asked me if I was better and I told him yes. And Jimmy wanted to know what was going on, but I stalled him and told him I was better. Francis didn't mention the topic, but he talked to me more than usual the day after the breakdown, and I guess he wanted to check up on me. Brayden pretended that nothing had happened. Meanwhile, it seemed like Jack didn't really care.

It passed a week since the day I talked to Will and we had our first game of the season, which we won. To celebrate, all the guys of the team went out to eat something in a snack bar and it was actually quite fun.

I wasn't pretending to be happy and good anymore. So sometimes I just listened to what they're saying or didn't laugh at a stupid joke I didn't like (I still smiled to don't be rude, though). Not smiling and talking and laughing all the time proved to be more fun than pretending to do such things, and made social interactions less exhausting.

Will clearly knew about my sexuality, but I didn't ask him since when or how he found out, because I still wasn't ready to talk about this openly and openly admit I was gay, even if I knew he already knew. He didn't bring it up either, and was treating me just the same. He also didn't tell anyone, thank God.

So, in the end of the day, I was actually glad Will knew. It was like a little of weight had been taken out of my shoulders and I could breathe better. I guess this was the feeling of coming out, but coming out to everyone probably was a hundred times better. I wasn't read to come out, though. I didn't think I would ever be.

Kaden and I were talking much more by messages now. We texted each other about every little thing that happened to us and sent pictures of what we were doing at the moment (what gave me very funny and embarrassing photos of him). And we also sent each other memes all the time by Instagram.

It was like we were finally friends, but we also weren't. He kept flirting with me and teasing me, and I didn't tell him to stop; I actually enjoyed it. And I kept blushing around him and we kept glancing at each other in that way. I couldn't help it. I loved just looking at him.

But we didn't almost kiss again. I guess it was better this way, though. It would only be frustrating having one of those moments again and pulling away because I wasn't ready. Sometimes I felt kind of bad for letting Kaden flirt with me because he deserved someone who could actually be with him. He deserved to be kissed, have his hand held, to be loved.

I'll be honest and say that the idea of Kaden dating another person made me feel sick of my stomach and I was attacked by a feeling I never felt before: jealously. And then I felt even worse at myself for feeling jealous about the idea of him having someone who is not me. He deserved happiness, and I couldn't give him that.

But... Maybe one day I could kiss him. I didn't want to feel guilty and wrong at my feelings anymore. I just had to figure it out how to take these thoughts and feelings out of me. It wouldn't be easy, but... baby steps, right?

"What are you thinking about?"

My head snapped to the direction of the sound of Kaden's voice. We were sitting on the floor of my room. He was in front of me, with a lot of papers, books and notebooks separating us. I invited him to come over today so I could keep helping him with physics. He was getting better, but let's just say this wasn't Kaden's area.

"Nothing" I answered "Did you finish your exercise?"

Kaden extended his hand that held a paper to me. I took it out of his grip and started to read what he had done.

"I got it all wrong, didn't I?" He asked.

"Not it all"

You got your name right.