Found (BxB)

BONUS CHAPTER #3

Ethan Hales

"Jonathan just asked me what I'd feel like if you died" I told Kaden as he snuggled closer to me in bed.

I didn't know what kind of epiphany my brother was having, but it sounded like he came to me for me to tell him what his emotions were. I knew he wasn't good at understanding what he felt, but he still felt it. He didn't need me to tell him, he just needed to find the answer within himself. After all, that's where the answer was.

"I know, he came to me as well" Kaden told me.

I had convinced my father to let Kaden sleep at my house tonight. I had managed to do that after not spending one single night in his house for a whole month, and promising I'd keep the door unlocked. I wasn't going to keep my promise. I knew it, he knew it. But I guess he was just tired of me bugging him about it for two weeks, so he gave up.

"And what did you answer?" I asked.

"I told him to come to you" He replied with a cheeky grin.

I scoffed.

"Why did you do that to me?!"

"Because I didn't know what to reply!" He said "And you have more emotional intelligence than all of us together. You do want to be a therapist, after all"

"I know, but still" I mumbled "You cornered me"

"Sorry, gorgeous" He kissed my temple as he closed his arms around me.

"What would your answer be?" I asked him.

"I told him I don't know-"

"No" I interrupted him, looking up at him with my head on his chest "You're just telling me now. Just look at me and tell me"

After Kaden looked at my features for more than two seconds, I felt self-conscious.

"You don't have to answer that" I quickly said, sitting up on my bed and letting his arms fall by my sides "I'm sorry, it was so insensitive asking you that after what you've been through. It was so, so, selfish. I'm-"

I was cut off short when Kaden placed his hand under my chin and pulled me closer to him until our lips were touching.

"I'd feel like..." He pondered, looking deeply into my eyes and keeping his face so close to mine, that I could feel his breathing "Can I be cheesy right now?" He asked me with a soft smile.

"Yes" I nodded, smiling back.

"I'd feel like..." He rubbed his thumb against my cheek "Like a flower that stopped being watered. Like a poet whose words were stolen. That's how I'd feel. Like someone took something from me that I need. That I need in order to be myself"

"I think a lot of people would say that's toxic" I whispered, more because I was afraid of how I related to his answer than anything else. I didn't think we were supposed to depend on each other to be ourselves.

"I don't think so" He shrugged "We changed each other. If I lost you, I'd have to reinvent myself. Just like I did when Charlie was gone. It's not like I'm not myself anymore. I'm just... a different version of me, y'know? Because we can't never be the same after losing someone we love"

"I guess it makes sense" I said.

"Me too" He smiled "But when I told Jonathan I didn't know, it was also true. You're love as I know, Ethan. When I think of love, I think of you. I discovered what love was when I met you. You're love for me. So... if you were gone... I didn't know if or how I could love anyone else romantically because, if love is you, and you're no longer there, what would I do?"