Daggers in our Heart

Thirty-First

Thirty-First

That day, I realized I went overboard. I made it transparent that I'm still keeping the past. I'm still keeping it badly. I made it clear that I'm still holding a grudge againts him and his past decisions.

It's like it's the only day that I successfully realized that we're really in a different situation now. I can't just say things like that everytime I feel like bursting out. Our set-up is very different eversince he left. I shouldn't expect him to be always in my side. Now, it will be more possible if I will have him siding againts me.

Nine, he's not just Joong. He's not just your ex boyfriend now. He's not even just your friend now. He's Engineer Archen Aydin Winphakun, you're currently working under his supervision.

I need to take it formally and exclude personal things, personal issues. I just arrive at the thought that I've been blending those issues to my work unconsciously because of my confusion and feelings. Now, I need to filter and separate it.

It shouldn't be an ex-lovers relationship. It should be a boss-employee now.

Keep that in mind, Nine.

You can't yell at your boss. You can't speak shits to your boss. You can't pick a fight with his client, whether you're right or you're wrong. If that's not Joong who's atleast, a friend, then you'll be removed from that internship immediately.

Nothing really happened that day. After what I said, there is no one who spoke. That went for like a whole day.

After inspecting the site, we immediately go back to his office without speaking to each other. I regret bursting and being unable to stop myself from saying shits like that. I don't know if he saw me cried but I hope he didn't, to save myself from more embarassment.

The days followed and it remained like that. We won't talk unless he have some orders that I will quickly follow. If there's none, I'll just sit respectfully. Also, he's always out of the office. He seems so busy outside and I didn't bother to ask why. There's even a day he will be out of the office for a whole day and I'm just inside, finding amusement alone after doing the work he left me. I think it helps, I managed to change and control my attitude a bit.

"Send me the files in the folder titled Project 4 from the other laptop" Joong ordered, eyes still fixed in his laptop.

I quickly approached near him to grab the spare laptop in his table.

"Just sit in front of me to be quicker" he demanded again when I was about to take the laptop away. I have no choice but to follow his order.

"Or move your seat here beside me so I can check if you're sending the right file. We don't want to waste time" he added as he pierce me with his eyes.

"Yes, Engineer"

See? I'm not complaining on his orders anymore even if sometimes, it doesn't make sense. Am I that dumb for him to make him think that I can't send that Project 4 Folder?!

I quickly drag my seat in the space beside him and started to send the file to the email logged into the laptop he's using.

"Thanks" he murmured right after he saved it. I remained seated beside him in case he still got something for me to send.

I just watch how he do things in his laptop. He's fastly reading every pages of the documents I sent him. He will sometimes massage his temples as if he's so stressed with things. It's not just today that I noticed his uneasiness, I think it's for a week now? Or more than that. He looks stressed.. his eyes, it looks very tired like he got zero sleep for the past few days.