Daggers in our Heart

Twenty-Sixth

Twenty-Sixth

"Zup!!" Krist greeted right after I managed to find their seat inside the bar we all agreed to meet to. Everyone's complete already, guess I delayed the celebration a bit.

I sat tiredly beside him, feeling drained all day long but still manage to meet and hang out with friends. The schedules are just contradicting and very hectic compared to when all of us are still in the university. Well it's been about 4 years now? Everything changed already. Fast and hard to catch.

Krist, Nanon and Off are now working as a Civil Engineer in three different companies. Gun and I? We're about to graduate, just need to complete this few months of internship and that's the reason why I'm so tired today.

Next week will be the start of everyone's internship and I still haven't find a company to train in. Shia!! They kept on saying they'll call me but, damn, why isn't my phone ringing? How can I graduate now?!

"He looks so stressed. Get that off of your mind for now, Nine. We're here to celebrate because finally, we find time to hang out together!!" Off cheered and raised his glass of beer. Everyone did the same so I just chuckled, grabbing my own glass and raising it while cheering with them.

I feel so happy seeing them again. I missed this one, good old days.

"But I need to be home early, I still need to find a company tommorow. Damn, I'm running out of time!!" I reminded them as I shook my head in disappointment.

Seriously, will I graduate this year?

"Me too, I still need to inspect the site we're currently working on and it's scheduled tommorow!! The stress, I don't wanna work now!!" Nanon seconded, complaining in his work.

"Complaining but still accepting projects, what a hypocrite"

We all laughed in Gun's words. Time flew really fast that I can't believe we're now here. We're about to upgrade into another level while the other boys had already come this far.

I can still remember how all of us met. I can still remember how happy all of us when the three graduated. I can still remember where we held our every celebrations together. I can still remember all the laughters and joy that all of us shared

But most importantly, I can still remember what happened years ago. I still haven't forget how everything changed. I still haven't forget how I was when he chose to leave rather than to hear me out first. That memorable New Year's Eve, I can't get out of my mind no matter what I do.

I can't deny it. Everyone already moved on but I'm still at the same spot where I was left behind. I didn't bother to place myself a bit, I just stood straight without moving.

How is that even possible? Some can say that it's a bad karma. But for me, I can't get over because my explanations remained hidden to that one person who matters to hear it the most.

And it looks like it will remain like that forever. There's just no hope for us. There's just no hope for everything. It's not even my choice to hide it, it's his choice to cover his ears so I know I can't do anything about it.

I drank my beer straight. Here I am again!! Everytime my mind is vacant, I always end up reminiscing regrets. I always end up with those what ifs. I always end up being bugged by the past. It seems like that event has a big control in my mind, it keeps on flashing everytime.

"Nine, why don't you try in some big companies? You might find your luck there. Big companies are hiring more intern than those small companies who offered only two spots. You know, just accept whatever job they give just so you can have an experience" Gun suggested and I sighed with that.