Strings Attached (On-going)

20. FORGIVE ME

Hi Lovely lovely folks! Happy new year to you. I want to thank you for your support and love. Anytime you read, vote and leave comments, you give my story a good chance for better grounds. You're the real MVPs!❤️🤩

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My life at this point was like an endless maze. I was standing at a crossroad, unsure whether to turn this way or that. To move forward or retreat with haste. You see the situation where a two year old is given puzzle pieces to put together. Not that I'm indecisive, well, sometimes, I am.

I'm also well, very empathetic. When we were kids, there was this one I stopped eating my favourite fruit just because my sister decided she didn't like it, just so she wouldn't feel bad for not liking what I liked best. Then I would hide and eat it, of course.

Sometimes I feel this obligation to people who do not have any power over me, and I know it. I feel I need to be good to them, listen to them or even just smile at them when I know they don't deserve it. Like when someone splashes red wine on your snow white dress and you smile to hide your irritation just so the person rather doesn't feel bad for being clumsy and careless--- ill-nature.

So as the regular me, I was disarrayed. I didn't know whether to dismiss or welcome him with open arms. Dave unsealed my morning, actually woke me up from warm cocoon of my bed, with the help of my stupid doorbell, that couldn't resist the touch of a finger on an early morning. Well, I'm sure it wished it could too.

On one thought, I wanted to let him wait till he was tired and finally left, on another wiser thought, what if he didn't leave and I met him on my way to work? So I did what Lisa would do in her normal Lisa state. I let him him....

"Bad move, sis...bad move", my inner voice told me, but I couldn't let him out again, like "oops! Changed my mind, please leave", how on earth?

I stood feets away, my back to him. He stood at the entrance in gray t-shirt over black joggers and white sneakers--- breathtaking, actually.

Done turn, just don't look at him twice in a second...if you turn, that is---- the voice came again.

And I did turn, I did. "Why are you here?"

"I needed to see you, I need to speak to you"

"At--" I looked at the giant clock hanging on the wall, "6:20 am?... Phenomenal!" I fastened the straps of the my robe around my waist, "Just leave, Dave", I said weakly, rubbing my eyes and wishing I was still hugging my pillows .

"Please, Lisa, a few minutes?" He sounded somber, strucking my weak points.

"Oh, you think it's okay.. to just go and come back as you please?"

"I'm sorry, I know I messed things up, big time and I'm sorry, let me explain"--- cliché

"Of course", I mouthed, rolling my eyes. If eyes could fall of as a result of rolling, mine would have been gone years back.

"Alice and I are done okay, and that was years ago"

"You're aware I don't even know who Alice is, right?"

He sighed and began, and in that instant, I hoped I wouldn't get any shock bigger than I have had in my life.
"Alice is Glenda's mom...Glenda, is my daughter. The time Alice got pregnant, I was unemployed, and because of that, she thought I wasn't fit to take care of her and the baby......so she hid it from me and left the city......Her sister Candace told me and----"

Wait!

"Candace? The one who stopped coming to the club since you started taking me there?"

He nodded, "she had hopes, her sister and I would get back together"

So she was disappointed you found someone else--- I concluded in my head.

Ookayy... puzzles coming together on their own accord, splendid!

"Nobody knew her whereabouts, even her family... And just two weeks ago, I found out she's back with Glenda.... Glenda is already three years old.
They've been in Seattle all this time.

I made relentless efforts to find them Lisa, I did, but all to no avail..."

"You know you could have told me all this". I did feel bad for him but I couldn't hide my annoyance.

"I didn't know how you'd feel about everything..I'm sorry...and about the night I left, it was impromptu and my phone died.... shit's just so complicated!" He stood akimbo, pacing back and forth in his small space, rubbing his bald head.

"So what have I been doing all this while? Helping you wait for your long lost family?
So they come back and you jump on to them without giving me any alert?-----what a good job I've done!"

"You're getting it wrong, believe me. It's just----" he took in a sackful of air and sighed heavily, obviously short of words.

"Lisa, I can--"

"This is so messed up, Dave..."

"I promise we can make this work, I can make things right, please let me, just tell me what to do"

"What of Alice?--- if she came back, then she wants to make things right, get back together?"

Dave shook his head, "she's married, she just came because Glenda wanted to see me, I can make it up to you"

"Make it up to me?" I flouted and shook my head. "Jokes!"

"Just another chance, Lisa" he pleaded

Another chance to let him take advantage of my vulnerability? To cry my eyes out because he probably ghosted again? Another chance to--maybe this time, slice my fragile heart into tiny pieces, and return for a chance to put them back together?

Another chance to watch him disappear and be a phantom in my pretty little head. A giant NO!

I'm a very weak in my emotions, so the very little things tends to break me down in very unfathomable ways.

I shook my head, clutching my furry peach colored robe. He took measured steps towards me, I could tell he was actually calculating his every move, which I must say made me feel powerful....like I could even tell him to go down on his knees or even lie prostrate before me---just saying.

Don't look at him, you'll forgive him easily if you do! The voice came again and once again, I went against my better judgement. I took a quick glance at him... And another. In his eyes, I could tell he had his heart in his mouth, anxious to hear what I had to say. But I said nothing, nothing....

and then..

"Assuming she isn't married and she came back to apologize. To get back with you? ....You'd be rejoicing that I'm not even thinking of forgiving you" I leashed out gently and made my way through the corridor,

"That's not true-----Lisa, come on!"

I halted midway

"Please, just...just another chance, you can make it the last...I promise I'll do better. Just.. please--"

I turned like I was doing a slow Mo for an international dance video. "I've got work Dave, you have, too" and then walked away. I wasn't trying to stress him or make him apologize to me in front of the whole world, like in the movies. I just needed to think this through, know what I really wanted.

But as I said, I am one ambivalent ilk, actually in earnest need of a disposition reconstruction.

I'm sorry I'm advance for disappointing some people and confirming other's suspicions, in the coming chapters 😂. Either way, keep calm and wait for it 🥰