Strings Attached (On-going)

14. EGO

My mom always said the best way to keep a person's trust was being truthful and honest, that telling lies only required more lies and the day the truth came out, trust built in years would come crashing down like a sand house washed down by the sea.

All true.

Keeping my dark secret from the person who cared so much about me wasn't an easy thing for me. I had every right to tell my story or not, but, I just wasn't being fair to him. He was just too nice to be hindered honesty. If I had followed by beloved mother's advice, I wouldn't have being going bonkers at a the sight of just a text. Well, not just a text because my life just took a different turn at the sight of it.

My mind travelled back to the moment at the beach, when Beth and Dave sat alone on the shore, the awkward moment I had witnessed and how Dave's attitude changed afterwards. There was no no way he could have ever gotten to know my story if not for---

Beth!!!

My head snapped at the realization, my eyes widening. Beth diverted her gaze from the TV to my angry looking face and her forehead creased.

Oh, you're so going to get it Beth!

I leapt to my feet and threw my phone on to her lap. "Tell me this is a freaking joke!" I said as softly as I could. She sure knew what I was talking about because I eyes widened slightly and then blinked several times, and she looked like she had just been caught doing the most illegal thing on the planet. She slowly picked up the phone and read.

"I swear, it wasn't intentional, okay, let me explain" Beth said, more like pleaded.

"You told Dave about it like it was nothing, what goes on in your head sometimes Beth?" I retorted

"I didn't know he wasn't even aware, I just--"

"Do you know what you just did?" I cut her off  rage boiling even more

"I just did you a favour, Lisa", she got up from the couch and stood face to face with me, in defence.

I couldn't hide my shock, how was this backstabbing even close to the word favour? "Wow--you just went behind my back, told my my tragic story, one you're not in any place to tell and you stand here unashamed telling me it's a favour?" Though I was so furious and I could kill a cat with my bare hands, I didn't sound angry at all, rather, my tone was as low as it could ever be, I wasn't in my elements yet.

"For heaven's sake, he's your man! He deserves to know....and as I said earlier, it wasn't intentional, I just mentioned it and apparently, he was lost and begged me to tell him about it..so I did. The poor guy needed to know okay, so don't stand here being all judgemental and shit!"

I just stood there staring at her, my mouth agape, "Lisa, I know it's hard. What happened isn't a pleasant story to tell and I'm sorry he got to know that way, but it's better than building high walls between the two of you and watching him live under a thick shade", she sighed with satisfaction.

"And you thought it was in your place to 'unshade' him?---You don't always have to be the perfect one Beth, you don't need to always be the one who knows best!!" I snap back, tears rolling down my cheeks,

"every- single-time, when I even remember last year, do you know the emotional trauma I go through? Let alone talking about it? You don't, you know why? Because you weren't the one who lost a twin, a mom, a dad, a little sister!....Not in months, not even days, a single freaking day!! You don't know how that fucking feels!....
You're so insensitive and it kills me to my very bones!"  The tears streamed with unstoppable force.

Once again, she had betrayed my trust, she had uncovered a wound that was still healing and I could see myself falling bit by bit down the ladder I was climbing with the help of Dr.Tonia.

"Lisa, I am sorry, I wish I could undo that, it was never my intention to hurt y--"

"When was it ever your intention, Elizabeth?You always want to paint a perfect picture of yourself...your ego kills me... it chokes me and makes me want to kill myself even!" I spat out, toxic in my tone.

"Oh, my ego? Don't start Lisa", she countered, shaking her head, adding fuel to my fury. Petrifying silence stole the moment, and then, "...I'm sorry, I am, I know, I shouldn't be poking my nose into your privacy--"

I scoffed, "This is not your first time Beth...do you know how I feel right now?" I sniffed and wiped my left cheek, "I feel more broken than betrayed---you Elizabeth Morgan, you..are a selfish, inconsiderate, sassy, backstabbing bitch!" I finally threw up the venom.

"Wow, Lisa, you know what... I think I'm just gonna go--", she strode past me. I didn't follow her but sat on the edge of the couch. Placing my elbows on my knees, I cupped my forehead with both palms and allowed the tears to spill.

I heard the guest room door slam shut and seconds later, she was tugging on her traveling bag, her handbag slid slightly down her arm, her lense case in her hand. I rose immediately surprised she had the guts to act like the victim. "Look, I'm sorry I'm always making shit messy for you", she sounded genuinely sorry, but I didn't appreciate it.

"You just offended me Beth, don't pack your bags to leave like you're the one hurt and--"

"I've said sorry a thousand times Lisa, what else do you want me to do? Get a megaphone and apologize so the whole world will hear?....I just.." With that, she turned to leave, her bag strolling behind her.

"You won't catch any flight at this time.. just get back!" I said, hoping she would actually get back, instead she kept walking towards the door

Beth!

Beth!

"you know what.. Just.. Just go, I care less, you're just doing me a favour anyway!" I shouted before she finally opened the door and out she went.

I kicked wildly at the couch, damnit!!!

Sighing heavily, I sat on the tiled floor  propped against the heavy couch. I picked up my phone, and went through my contacts, pausing when I saw "Oscar" with the sunflower emoji. I smiled weakly and put my phone beside me on the floor.

I threw my head to my back on to the couch behind me. The only thought that was running through my head: how the hell was I going to face Dave?

My tummy growled, but the unusual me denied it, turned off the TV, went to lock my door and came back to lie on the floor. "Let me just give tonight the chance to make it up to me for all the mess today". I told myself and closed my eyes, deciding not to worry about Beth. I drifted into nothingness with my tear stained face.

Nothing felt better than the cold tiled floor, I promise!!

Thank youuuu!!!

I love you❤️❤️❤️💃