Whatever The F He Wants

Bam on the River

APRIL & PHIL

"Oh, how late back do you think they'll be?" April closed her eyes. "Oh, don't tell me. I know there's cameramen there and crew members from the production company. And Vito will be pissed to go down that river."

"He sure will," Phil chuckled. "Least they've got a good send off at the lagoon."

"That reminds me," April squinted. "Missy asked me for a ride there. I thought she would be with Jenn."

"I dunno, you talk to her more than me," Phil breathed.

"Well, anyway," April shrugged. "I can hardly exclude her. Do you know how many girls will be at the lagoon? Bam wants to have a party at the castle afterwards. Without Jenn there, the place will be a wreck."

"I've been telling ya, you've gotta let it go," Phil glanced over. "He has to learn to do his own housekeeping at some point. You're exhausted, I can tell, Ape."

RAAB & JENN

"Didn't expect to see you here," Raab glanced around. "Heh, guess it's a free country. What video you rentin'?"

"None good here," Jenn sniffed. "I figure just a night in. So. Has he said anything?"

"Jenn, you can't be serious," Raab exclaimed. "Course he has. So has everyone else. The lines are drawn. I shouldn't even be speaking to you."

"Why?" Jenn stared. "It's not like you're his friend anymore. I heard you had a fallout."

"It's all the drinking," Raab mumbled. "I've gotta get my life in shape."

"So do I," Jenn drew herself up. "You know, I didn't think she'd go behind my back."

"Nah, me neither," Raab glanced at his feet. "But they're in love."

"Oh bullshit," Jenn sneered. "I've been with him since the start. You're telling me - "

"I'm sayin'," Raab shrugged. "I'm just sayin', he liked her since he was in high school."

"Raab, we've known each other long enough. You don't need to beat around the bush," Jenn pressed. "But be honest. She can't put up with what I've had to."

"I'm not beating round the bush," Raab argued. "I'm bein' honest. Perhaps she'll rein him in. Perhaps she won't, and he'll go off and live his own life."

"He doesn't deserve his own life," Jenn bit. "Don't you see?"

"Nobody's gonna stop him," Raab pulled a video from the rack. "You know, I didn't realise it. But she looks like this chick from Scream."

"Barely," Jenn scathed. "So this is it? We're not to see each other anymore?"

"It's difficult. It's awkward," Raab shuffled. "You know it's a small town. I wish the best for yer... but I can't say it's gunna be easy."

"Oh, don't worry about me," Jenn sniffed. "I'll make it, and so will you. There's life outside Westchester."

PHIL & MISSY

"April should be back soon," Missy craned her neck from the backseat. "Thanks for taking me along, Phil. The lagoon's quite a drive out."

"Ah, no problem," Phil gestured. "Ape's just gettin' some snacks from the drive. You know how expensive gas is gettin' nowadays?"

"I know we haven't talked about it," Missy stared. "And I want to apologise. It's all so sudden... "

"Don't apologise," Phil turned round. "It's Bam's life, and yours. You two are adults. Besides, it's just coincidence."

"Yes."

"Do you see her anymore? Jenn?"

"We don't really speak anymore," Missy sniffed. "Oh, I see April."

"There she is. You know she likes you, Missy. We all do."

"Oh, thanks Phil. So, is Jessie coming in her own car?"

"She'll meet us back at the house," Phil leaned over to push open April's door. "Any snacks for us, Ape? I'm hungry."

APRIL & PHIL

"Oh, I'm so glad we're home," April dumped her handbag. "Let's leave the castle to Bam. I've got so much work to do it's not even funny."

"He seemed pretty happy," Phil opened and closed the pantry. "Who do ya think those girls are he invited back to his place? That slide's a hazard. He'll break his neck."

"Oh, they're all from the lagoon," April swung her leg over the other. "Can you pass me that cushion, Phil? Thanks. Oh, my back's so stiff. I could do with a massage."

"What's that?"

"If you're lookin' for food, I'll rustle something up in a moment," April rubbed her temple. "I need a hot mug of tea and some of Jessie's bubble bath."

"She's staying there," Phil called. "Dunno why. She was more Jenn's friend than Missy's."

"I saw them," April joined Phil in the kitchen. "No, in the other cupboard. Let me boil this jug and I'll pop that in the microwave. Jessie probably just wants to make sure the family's stickin' together. She's so thoughtful, that girl."

"I saw her sitting on the balcony with Missy," Phil scratched the hamburger decal on his shirt. "I wouldn't say everything's perfect between them."

"Well, they can hardly claw each other's eyes out," April watched the microwave. "I think I've pressed the wrong button. My eyesight's going Phil, what does that say?"

"Here, I'll fix it. You go sit down. I'll give Jessie a call. We can put her on speakerphone."

"She'll still be at the party," April frowned. "Come sit with me, Phil. Yes, you can join me in the sitting room."

"I won't spill crumbs," Phil groaned. "Sorry. Here's another cushion."

"Thanks. You know, Jenn had a ring. It makes me wonder," April rustled her hair. "Do you think Bam's serious? The show's winding up. What do you think he'll do next?"

"Whaddaya think, Ape," Phil chuckled. "Vito reminds us every day. Bam'll do whatever the fuck he wants."

"Language!" April scolded. "But I suppose you're right. We'll just have to brave the storm, Phil. Whatever comes. Hand me the phone, Phil. I've gotta hear our daughter's voice... "