Whatever The F He Wants

Honeymoon

NOVAK & BRANDYWINE EEL

"No shit," Novak grinned. "Nah, my leg's fine. What about you? How's that chick o' yours?"

"Gentleman never tells," Brandywine Eel nodded. "We got any more beer in the fridge?"

Novak leaned over the couch. "Yo, Jessie! You goin' out later? She never listens. There she goes."

"She's here to keep us on the straight and narrow," Brandywine Eel chuckled. "You ever been to Dubai?"

"Nah," Novak paused. "All that sand, isn't it? And guys wearin' robes. No thanks."

"Lucky Bam," Brandywine Eel threw back his drink. "And Missy'll be here full time."

"She's already moved in," Novak eyed the liquor. "You know I shouldn't. Ape thinks I'll go on a bender and steal Bam's stuff."

"You've done it before, friend," Brandywine Eel belched. "That's why Bam chucked me in the barn down by the Hobbit Hole."

"Well, good for you," Novak sneered. "Life's sweet and easy, isn't it? Wish I could travel. But it seems every day the cops give me warrants. They won't leave me in peace."

"Suck it up, brother," Brandywine Eel nodded.

APRIL & MARIAN ROTHSTEIN

"Oh, but it pains me, you know?" April set her handbag down. "You can smell the perfume in here. I'm sure I've never worn anything this strong. But I do like this little tier of sandwiches they've given us."

"Pass your cup, April. I'll pour," Marian glanced. "The lace on the curtains is divine. And the waitresses are always smiling. It's a place away from home, I'll tell you. I think they're only new."

"Then we must capitalise on that," April chuckled. "Before they realise that turnover will only bring local kids in, and for when they think they need to change the menu to get new business. I've seen it for as long as I've lived here. A cafe will change from their original vision to get revenue and lose their core business and wonder why they have to fold."

"It shocks me," Marian tutted. "Have you heard from Bam?"

"No. Have you heard from Missy?"

"Of course," Marian sipped her tea. "Oh, that's good. And the little cucumber sandwiches. April, take this one. I insist."

"Thank you. So what does Missy say?"

"They're living it up over there!" Marian beamed. "I can hardly expect them not to. Reality will hit them like a freight truck. When my husband was alive... "

"Oh, I am sorry. Please forget I said anything."

"No, no. You see, since Kevin moved in - and the girls have got used to him as their stepfather, thank God - and you'll know this with Phil, but the shine wears off. It always does. And I worry if Missy doesn't have him in hand by then."

"From the look on your face, I'm figuring you want some advice?"

"How did that other girl cope? She had a ring, didn't she?"

"They were only engaged," April shrugged. "Bam won't talk about it though. But Jenn had him well in hand. But to be fair, that was before all the cameras."

"I don't want to start doubting them," Marian popped a sandwich in her mouth. "Oh, the tier's almost empty. Excuse me! Could we have some more? They're so quick here... "

"Missy will adjust," April nodded. "They've known each other since high school. And Jenn was Bam's babysitter, a deal older than him. They're in love - Bam and Missy, I mean, ha."

MISSY & JESSICA ROTHSTEIN

"You should be here, honestly," Missy pulled the curtain. "The view is amazing. Yes, we got the penthouse suite. And all the shopping! I'll have to buy another suitcase on the flight back."

"When I graduate, I'll have to think about doing a trip," Jessica mused. "Can you hear me alright? No, that's the lawn mower. Kevin's doing the rounds. I'm only at home for a little bit."

"It's not long to go," Missy laid on the bed. "Are you prepared for your exams? I know I wasn't."

"I know I have to get a decent job after this," Jessica sighed. "How did they take it?"

"Who?"

"Your old employer. 21 North."

"Well, Beth - you know, my friend Beth from college? - she's got a little sign shop in Westchester. I'll pitch in and help her. But to answer your question, they didn't seem surprised. And they filled the post quicker than I thought."

"It's all the students," Jessica tutted. "And don't think it's personal. They have to get someone in quick or they lose a lot of business. Trust me. I've been in a lot of bars."

"I'm sure you have," Missy laughed. "You know, Bam wants to open his own? No, he'll just set it up and visit occasionally. I don't know, but he's thinking of calling it The Note."

"Your life's a dream," Jessica giggled. "Tell me when it gets old, Missy. I'll be there to hold your hand."

"It's not getting old," Missy replied. "I'll tell you what, sister of mine. Bam's settling down, whether he wants it or not. And I'm going to be a model, the calls have already started coming in. But I'm not sure about the production company. They want to film my reaction to my pregnancy. But I don't think that'll happen anytime soon... no, I don't think so. But there's this place out in Paoli where - yes. Well, I only told mom at the time, but I did have my eggs frozen. Don't ask me why! I just didn't figure on having children at that time when I was dating that other whackjob."