Whatever The F He Wants

Rehab

MISSY & MARIAN ROTHSTEIN

"I just didn't know what to do," Missy shook her head. "I've spoken to Ape. Well, I've spoken to the lot of them. Bam's there now."

"It's not your fault," Marian patted Missy's hand. "You know, he's probably under a lot of pressure. I'm sure the fame isn't as perfect as it works out to be. But you have to be strong, for his sake."

"Sometimes I get it," Missy whispered. "Sometimes I understand why she left. The house is chaos without Ape and Phil there. Even Jessie's always in Jersey with that skateboarder. And Jess can't talk him 'round, and he's on tour with some other band he's joined... "

"It's not your fault," Marian repeated. "How many times do I have to say it? Men will get up to all sort of trouble. Bam's fame only magnifies that. People will want to scrutinise his life."

"It's not like he's cheating," Missy shook her head. "And why he should be unhappy, God only knows. He has enough in the bank, thanks to Phil looking out for his investments. He's got parents who love him - god, I love him! - and all he has to do is give up this jackass crap and just skateboard for the rest of his life."

"Are you thinking about the future?"

"Yes, I took a drive to Paoli the other fortnight. No, just to check everything's, well, working. I mean, now's obviously not the time. But I'm almost thirty, mom."

"I remained fertile for a long while, don't you worry," Marian sighed. "I had you girls, didn't I? And I don't mind tooting my horn to say I look good for my age, don't I?"

APRIL & PHIL

"We'll see what happens," April sniffed. "Let me just put my keys and my handbag down and I'll rustle somethin' up. I'm starvin'. I don't know how Bam'll do in there."

"He'll be fine," Phil scratched his neck. "It's worth a pretty penny to put him up in there. They have the best facilities, I'm sure."

"Bam can't sit still, Phil," April tied on an apron. "I don't know about you, but he can't just sit and do a jigsaw. He'd flip the board, and you remember Jessie's face? It was a lovely picture of a park by a lake. Swans, ducks. That reminds me, my pattern in the mail didn't show up today... "

"Hanna said he got some of our mail," Phil shrugged. "I'll ask him later."

"Thanks. Can you hand me that - thank you. It won't be long, I just need to adjust the stove top. The lacquer's wearing off where the numbers on the dial ought to be. And my prescription is wearing off. That's another bill... "

"We're good for money, Ape. We've scrimped and saved," Phil fidgeted. "I don't want you to worry. We've spent long enough workin' our way up to relax a little."

TIM O'CONNOR & DANNY GARCIA

"Welcome to my crib," Tim shook Danny's hand. "Figured what with you bein' a bro for life, you should see where I'm layin' down tracks once in a while. Yo, Jessie! Can you chuck us some beers? Come into the living room. No, she's always like that. Chances are she'll take one out to the pool and drink it herself just to prove a point."

"Good high ceilings," Danny nodded. "It's a bit spartan."

"Jessie's got some ideas about that," Tim crashed on the sofa. "Try the lazyboy, I got it new. Yeah, she has some plans for redecorating. It'll look lived in when she's done with it."

"Are you two moving in together sometime?" Danny glanced around. "It's a nice place, quiet road. Good to bring up kids. You could write a novel."

"Maybe you," Tim chuckled. "Nah, once she's got this business set up from home, we'll know for sure. She's already got a key and a set of drawers, so of course all her shit's in my bathroom and there's a set of towels I'm not allowed to use."

"That's cohabitation, my friend," Danny smiled. "Once you get over that infatuation, it'll hit you like a lightning bolt."

"What, love?"

"Nah, the realisation you've gotta work to keep it up. You've gotta feed it like a plant. Not too much, not too little."

"You a Yoda on this subject, Garcia? Didn't peg you for a philosopher. Aren't you single, man?"

"I'm well versed," Danny shrugged. "You break up with someone you care about, you sit back and learn a lot."

"Learnin's dangerous," Tim glanced up. "I see her outside. Don't take it personally, pal. I mean, you've met her before, but she's got a lot on her plate, otherwise she'd come and say hi."

"Oh, no I understand," Danny fidgeted. "Nothing too serious, I hope."

"Oh, not between us," Tim shrugged. "But between you and me, you hear? Her brother's been on the bottle. You know, had to go to hospital. I think she thought he'd slow down, but he's only gettin' worse."

"That sucks," Danny nodded. "You know, you don't need to tell me to keep it on the down low. We've been friends this long."

"Ah, that's part of the problem - mine, not yours - I'm always offendin' people. You see this pillow at the end of the sofa? Yeah, it's not always bliss, but to talk like you, it's not always supposed to be, is it?"