Whatever The F He Wants

Engagement Party

PART 2 - BAM'S UNHOLY UNION

BAM & MISSY

"You tell 'em, babe," Bam smiled.

"Well," Missy began. "And Ape, Phil, I know you won't want too much detail. Bam after all made quite a fuss in Cartier. But he got down on bended knee and said, how about it?"

"It was more than that," Bam shook Missy's knee. "We're havin' a show. No! Not like Viva la Bam. Viva la Grande. No, that's the workin' title."

"What he means is," Missy smiled. "We're gonna film everything up to the wedding. Oh, April. Here's a tissue. And Phil, you big softie. It's going to be alright. Trust me. I'll keep Bam well in hand."

DICO & RAKE

"Look at all these kids," Rake despaired. "They're clogging up your store. When I was younger... "

"You've always been old, Rake," Dico smiled. "Hey! No fingerprints on the counter. Besides, I only work here."

"You may as well own it," Rake frowned. "You know everything there is about model figurines and board games. Don't tell you haven't been offered a promotion."

"As manager? Puh-leese," Dico scoffed. "The owner wants a tight rein. Revenue's not what it was. And my girl wants to get married soon. If I'm gonna have kids, yeah I've gotta pay for 'em, but I'll be there to help raise 'em, make no mistake."

"Speaking of kids raised bad, you heard from Bam?"

"I got the news," Dico shrugged. "Good for him."

"You going?"

"To his wedding? Probably," Dico raised his eyebrows. "What? We can't not."

"He's different," Rake shook his head.

"You were always his victim, and mine, I'll admit," Dico checked the till and counted cash. "But you're right. We're all leading our own lives. He's gettin' married. The high point's over. Even Raab's gone."

"He's got so many new friends, it's hard to keep track. I go round there," Rake shook his head. "They couldn't name his favourite food or what school he went to. Only that he's loaded and got a hot girlfriend."

"You heard from Jenn?" Dico snickered. "I feel bad for her. She was living with her mom for a while, but she's not totally out of state. She can't expect a new life staying in familiar surroundings."

"It was her life he ruined," Rake raised his eyebrows. "Why should she move?"

"Cos Bam's the star, and everyone's on his side."

"And you?" Rake frowned.

"After this, I'm out," Dico slammed the till back. "Hey, you kids! Don't touch that, you'll break it! Sorry. I mean, look what I've got here. I can't pick up after Bam all day. If he's getting married, I'll put it on his wife to clean up his mess. I'll go my own way."

"Well said, brother," Rake nodded.

APRIL & PHIL

"Oh, this must be the place. I hope my dress isn't ruined. I gave it a quick once over before we left... " April glanced in the back. "Jessie's left her scarf. Well, she won't need it in there."

"It's quite a crowd, Ape," Phil pocketed his car keys. "This Doc Magrogan was more n' happy to host Bam's shindig."

"It's free press," April sniffed. "You should've seen the queue for my cookbook down at the bookstore. I hated that photo but they insisted it was the best one - oh, there's Jessie, ah, we've missed her. I'll never find her in that crowd."

"Oh, he wants to take our coats - thank you, thank you. Man it's hot in here. Do you see 'em?"

"It's dark and smoky and full of liquor," April chuckled. "Just how Bam likes it. I see Missy's family over there. Grab me a seat at the booth, Phil. And some peanuts if they have 'em. Oh, and don't let Novak see me. Good god, I hate that felon."

MISSY & JESSICA ROTHSTEIN

"Are you going to ask Bam's sister as your bridesmaid?" Jessica asked. "Cos it'll be awkward, you know, when the officiant announces the same name twice... "

"I asked her, and she'll be coming to the bachelorette party," Missy nodded. "You know, you can quiet things down. I heard you've been studying like I did at Penn State."

"Which was what?"

"Partying," Missy stuck out her tongue. "Drinking, socialising, the usual."

"I have to do something to burn off the stress," Jessica laughed. "Speaking of, Bam's a hoot, isn't he? Those fingerless gloves. For all we've known him, he's not really changed a bit."

"People forget that," Missy shrugged. "Sometimes I have to remind people. I've known Bam since middle school. Just because I'm not in many of the photographs."

"Well, you were dating whats-his-face," Jessica raised her eyebrows.

"Mmm," Missy rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me. All he did was want me to be quiet around his frat friends. Bam at least lets me be me. And his partying, while wild and crazy, lets me get loose too."

"I've had to tell people," Jessica smiled. "You're not a headband-wearing prayer girl. You get loose with the best of them. You know, Missy, guys like to put you on a pedestal. And now it'll be easier once you're Bam's wife."

"My life's not over," Missy frowned. "This is just the start. I want to be a model, or at least a photographer. Trust me, once this show is over, Bam'll stop all his shenanigans. Even if skates for a living, I don't care. But the madness has to stop."

"It'll be hard," Jessica sipped her drink. "Oh, I recognise him. Who's he?"

"One of Bam's skateboarder friends. The one who's dating Bam's sister."

"Well, he looks cheerful. And where's she gone?"

"She probably popped to the ladies'," Missy glanced.

"I haven't been introduced, but I figure they'll last," Jessica nodded.

"Why's that?"

"I dunno," Jessica took another sip and shrugged. "I saw them take off their coats. They smiled at one another and split up to mingle. I dunno about you, but check out that girl with Seth. She's been clinging to his side all night, and he never gives her a second look."