Whatever The F He Wants

Bachelorette Party

BAM & JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

"Good to see ya again," Johnny shook hands. "You seen this suite? Yeah, through here. Just as big as the one we held the after party in."

"I'm glad I didn't have to pay for damages," Bam chuckled. "I will this time, I bet. Did you walk in on Steve-O with those two chicks?"

"It's a while ago now," Johnny scratched his neck. "He's doin' alright, you know. But nah, I didn't seem him. Too busy makin' the rounds, sellin' the movie!"

"And you're thinking of a third?" Bam smirked. "My show's about over - oh, look at this! Sweet. And a jacuzzi bath."

"You'd think you'd not be so impressed, traveling as you do," Johnny put his hands on his hips.

"It's still a killer," Bam nodded. "Sometimes I take it for granted. Other times I don't give a damn. But y'know, I don't like to let my soft side show. It was easier during Jackass, you were clearly the king. Always taking more pain, asking if the camera got it right than if you'd need a medic."

"Nah, Bam," Johnny clapped him on the shoulder. "You've got it in your stride. You've been your own man and a household name for a while now."

"So about that Jackass 3?" Bam grinned. "I'm rearing up for a comeback."

"I've gotta get shit sorted first," Johnny wiped his glasses. "You know I'm expectin' a kid. I've gotta put family first."

MARIAN & JESSICA ROTHSTEIN

"I've never been to Palm Springs," Jessica sniffed. "Is this where we check in? It's so light and airy. You'd think we were in heaven."

"I can see cigarette butts in the potted plant," Marian sniffed. "Course, I forgot to bring my lighter. Do you think they'll have one from a member of staff?"

"I think we're this way, Mom. And you can borrow mine, or Missy's," Jessica opened the door. "Look! Chocolate mints under the pillows. I'm goin' to check what channels they have."

"Rest up, my girl," Marian smiled. "You don't mind if I borrow your lighter now, do you? That drive was too long. And remember, we have to film an outdoor shot with all the gals later tonight."

MISSY & BRIANNA

"This is so nice," Bri relaxed in the bed. "Do you think they'll do our close up soon?"

"It's so invasive, I know," Missy giggled. "But look at it this way. It'll help you get over whats-his-face. And who knows? People may stop you in the street and offer you their card."

"That's bullshit, Miss," Bri smiled. "Has Bam set you up yet? You said you were fine with that Playboy shoot, right?"

"And I am," Missy curled her hair. "Well, not totally. But it's done now! And if I get a decent gig after this, then I can say I'm pulling my weight. Cos there's no way I'll earn as much as Bam."

"Did he tell you?"

"No, but I overheard him talking to Phil once, and you know how Bam likes to run on."