Black And Green

Thirty

E m i l y

"What? Who says this bullshit?" he asked and I bit my lips.

"No one. It's just my thoughts" I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Well take those stupid thoughts out of your mind" he said angry.

"Okay, but I don't like the way you talk about Oliver" I said and he sighed smiling ironically.

"What is it, your boyfriend?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"No, Draco. And I don't like you talking bad about Oliver when it has to do with me, otherwise say whatever the fuck you want" I said annoyed and he nodded.

"Okay, fine" he spat bitterly and turned to the other way.

It had been a few minutes and he hadn't even looked at me, making me furious.

"So you are just going to stay like that?" I asked annoyed and he was still the same.

"You are ruining everything!" I broke out and hit the metallic bar in front of me.

"Me? I am saying this to protect you!" he yelled and I stood up ready for this argument.

"This is what you call protection? Well guess what! I don't fucking need it" I hissed and he raised his eyebrows angry.

"Oh yeah? Don't cry then when he will dump you since you care so much about him" he said and I frowned.

"You are so stupid do you know that? I don't fucking care about Oliver!" I threw my hands explaining and his expression calmed down.

"He kissed me, alright?", I sat down and he did the same after a few moments, "But I didn't feel anything. Nothing at all".

"Are you happy now?" I asked and I felt him smiling next to me.

"I am actually", he said and I looked at him confused, "because no one makes you feel like I do".

My breath was taken away from his last sentence, but it was actually the truth. No one does.

"You are so selfish" I said looking the other way but he immediately put his fingers on my jaw and pulled me very close to him aggresively.

"Only with things that I own" he whispered to my lips and my eyes flickered for the influence he has on me. He touched with his thumb my lower lip and then he pressed his lips against mine.

"Draco-" I pulled back after a while.

I wanted to ask. What does he want from me, what are we. If he is just messing with me or waste his time. It was better now, before things went too far. Before I would fell more for him.

"Yes?" he was waiting for me to say something.

I looked him deep in the eyes and took a big breath, "Nothing, sorry".

"I hope you had a good birthday" he said caressing my hand with his fingers.

"I did, thank you" I said and then explained to him what presents I got.

"What Hagrid gave you feels illegal, but it's not" he said and I laughed.

"Yes, actually. But I really loved it. Not more than your though" I said and he smirked.

"Glad you did" he took my hand into his and started drawing invisible lines on it.

I was enjoying watching him while he was doing that. When his eyes met mine, I felt my cheeks on fire. His hand moved a little further to my wrists and glanced at me before trying to lift my sleeve up.

"Draco no-" I said and he stopped looking at me.

"It's just me Emily. All good, I just want to see" he said calm and I said nothing.

When he tried to do it again, I didn't stop his this time. I didn't have anything to hide actually. Not anything new.

He saw my scars and with his fingertips he started passing over them with me staring at his face.

"Nothing new" he said and gently rolled my sleeve down.

"You are the first one that had ever done this, checking on me" I said and he squeezed his hand into mine.

"I am your first at everything" he said and I smiled lightly, knowing that it was very true.

"You deserve people checking on you, darling" he added and I felt my stomach fluttering with his words.

No one has ever spoken to me like that and Draco was just making me all worth it. Worth of someone's time, security but mostly love.

"When did you start hurting yourself?" he asked after some moments of silence.

"One year ago. I wasn't just hurting myslef.. I was sad, pushing everyone away from me, not that they had tried to come back in" I said with a little smile at the end full of bitterness.

"It was their loss" he said and I nodded but then I took a deep breath, "Yes, but it would be me. I would be the loss".

"Wait, have you ever tried to-" he asked confused but I cut his sentence off.

"No, no" I answered quickly, "Although I think about it. Every single day" I sighed looking far away.

"What is the best way of someone to go?" he swallowed hard and asked me.

"Falling, of course" I said smiling and he raised his eyebrow.

"Falling?" he repeated my words laughing a little.

"Yes because, you feel that you are leaving. But at first you sense what you wanted to feel from the very beginning in the air, freedom. Like you get wings and fly far away from this mad world  going somewhere you know that you would be happy, or at least okay. And then, boom" I made an explosion sound with my mouth.

"When you meet the ground you are all finally gone. No worries, no pain. Just gone".

He didn't answer at first but after a couple of seconds he said, "Come on then. Do it".

"What?" I asked frowned.

"We are in one of the tallest places in Hogwarts. It's your time" he said and I rolled my eyes.

"I am not going to do it Draco. Besides my life goes into a line now, I think. It's just, I am one click away, do you understand? I am waiting for life to give me this struggle in my life but I won't be able to make it. I will give up" I said and he nodded.

"I don't want your pity. I just want you to understand".

"I understand" he whispered and pecked me on the top of my head. Suddenly, I felt a cold air through my body teeth shaking and Draco noticed.

"I don't have a coat" he said and put his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to him. I rested my head on his chest, listening his heartbeat to fall asleep.

That was probably the most calm I have ever felt in my life.

Happy new year <3